Sunday, April 29, 2007

Andre's been shaved before.......

Plum doesn't know this, but I had also shaved my pubes for a while.

I was dating a woman who didn't like hair. This was pretty funny since my middle name is Werewolf.

When I met M, a sub, she announced that she didn't like any facial hair. Being the pleaser that I am, I shaved my beard. Yes, I was curious about being clean shaved. My beard was with me about 25 years, most friends had never seen me without. I scarcely remembered myself without it. Of course, I did get some concessions from my sub in return for shaving!

It's funny, when I shaved it off, some liked it, some didn't. Most thought I looked younger.

The rest of the story is that, it wasn't only the beard that went. M didn't like the pubes au naturale either. She shaved me as service to me. I found it rather erotic to have a sub shave me. I liked the attention and the frequent quality control checks. It was a whole new sensation. Of course, M was always shaved smooth, and I loved doing quality control checks on her!

Now, Plum didn't know this. She had seen pictures of me without my beard. She probably wouldn't be surprised about the shaved pubes, now she understands a little bit more about why I don't wear underwear........

I love the idea that Plum is shaved. So child-like, so playful, so mine!

Friday, April 27, 2007

Stripped, waxed

The room's white, kinda dingy, and the women has me take off my bottoms and put on a Made in China a g-string that's made out of the same gauze as tea bags before I lie down on the table.

The wax is hot, thick, sticky, and she's as efficient as ever as she strips the hair off my legs.

Soon, we're down to the pink bits, my pussy and ass and she's going to strip me almost bare.

"Close, not a Brazilian," is what I've said, but she's heard Brazilian, I realize, and my trimmed hair is going down this time, wax and polish almost all the way, with just a little landing strip.

God, it hurts like a mother-fucker, I don't care what any one says; she's ripping hair out by the roots that's been left intact for most of my years and I imagine myself as smooth as a billiard ball, shiny, polished and--sore.

The pain's a little erotic, as is her hand on my ass, but it's more fun to imagine what Andre might say when he sees the (missing) muff and to wonder if I now have a part of my body that looks girlish enough to play games with--or if I'll just decide to skip the higher maintance and let the fur grow out.

Monday, April 23, 2007

A little pained and a lot proud!

Plum hurriedly wrote her post last night as I was still digesting the weekend. I felt more than happy to be at the Girl's b-day with Plum, who is so admired. I was ecstatic. I was very happy that she in the last few lines of her post that she acknowledged a little balance of her joy of admiration when she said she was pained by some of the attention… a sign of an Ethical Slut?

But, I was let down because there were women who were poly and openly inviting and encouraging to other men, while they were not interested in me. I was feeling left out and a little like the last one picked for the ball team.

We spent the drive home reconciling our alternately feeling of euphoria and sadness. An interesting dichotomy developed as we drove. I didn't see Plum as pained about being uncomfortable while we were at the party. But, she said she was on the way home? Nor did I see her fend off any advances with a rebuke.

In fact, at the party when I later said that I didn’t think it was my place to speak up when X came over, sat down next on the other side of Plum, and asked HER for a date in front of me when Plum and I were chatting alone on a break; Plum said she was furious that I put the burden on her to speak up. I feel it would be tactless to answer for her when he sat next to her and asked her for a date. I left them alone and headed for a potty break. I was never seriously worried about her position with me either, and was much more saddened by the lack of attention I received. Maybe all feel this at one time or another. Is this jealousy? I was proud of Plum, but feel a little sad that she could write so glowingly of something that was sensitive to me. Would a different degree of success have buoyed my spirits, even if I didn’t revel in it. If the tables were reversed would I glow in my success while Plum simmered, or would she not simmer?

Me: a nice guy who is never as crass as many who approached Plum. Should one throw it out there literally, and maybe someone will bite? Is this method a winner in this social environment? Do nice guys finish last? Am I too new for this group to be recognized? I knew many from a few years ago in another lifetime. Maybe a little of all of these…………… ?

Am I too thin skinned, take it too personally, or is being poly and enjoying this lifestyle more painful than I want sometimes? Do other times make it worth it? I still think so.....

For all that think this might not have been said by me in the ride home yesterday, I re-iterate that it was! In no way, do I think Plum meant to hurt me, but yes, to being insensitive. Perhaps she could have waited more than a couple of hours after getting home. I still love her.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Radiant energy and being hit on

At Girl's birthday party today, several sex-positive friends of the lucky woman and her men(two) expressed interest in moi.

"Plum, would you like the go on a date with me?"(Long-married, poly father of two, husband to major local pain-slut.

"Uh, Plum, how'd you like to spend the night with me tonight? Are you free?" (Another married guy, also poly.)

"Fair lady, I'd like to get my hands on you and show you what D/s really is." (Dom at the party).

"Wow, you have a great ass!" Do you kiss girls?" (A fellow submissive, also poly.)

Besides this crew, there were at least 5 other people who told me I looked great, described how hot they thought I was, or asked if they could fondle me (and of course I said yes.)

One of the guys walked right up to me and Andre, interrupted our conversation, and asked me out. Another came over and sat down without without checking if he was welcome right then.

And then there was the guy who wanted to tell me all his safe sex rules--as if I was going to let him have me (Unlike the rest the folks at this fairly close community, he and I had never even met).

I left the party feeling great that I was so desirable to people, but newly aware what a pain sexual attraction and attention can be--some of these guys were like bees and a flower, or dogs around a bitch in heat, and I swear to God, it t'weren't anything I wuz doin'.

Update: Andre said I might have been insensitive by posting this so quickly after we talked, without really warning him, and on reflection, this sometimes-defensive woman thinks he might have been right.
I am sorry, sweetie. I''ll move less quickly and check in with you next time.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Words for love: The cuddle puddle and then some

After almost four months together, Andre and I are getting those phrases couples use as their own language, the shorthand of connection.

  • Cuddle puddle is the holding time after we made love (and after I've squirted all ove and dampened at least one big towel)
  • Pussy mouth is the way I position my head beside his cock as we lie on the bed and suck him deep throat as he pumps hard into my mouth
  • A good licking means mind-blowing oral sex, the full treatment, till I come and come
  • Do you want to get fucked? means I want to come inside you
  • Hurt me a little means bite my nipples or spank my pussy

And Please, well, please means the universe is exploding, kinda.

Do you have phrases you use with a partner for love and or sex activities?

What are they?

Thursday, April 19, 2007

He Said, She Said, She Loves It

Plum gave her side of being pinned down, here is mine!

The mood is set by four candles eerily lighting Plum's bedroom.

I make Plum start out in my favorite position, head down and ass up on the bed. Plum already knows where this is going because I have tripled folded a large bath towel to place under her. My left hand caresses her plump and ripe breasts, and my right hand begins rubbing her glistening wobbly bits that are lite from the candles on the top of the dresser at the foot of her bed.

I realize that these candles are of the larger variety and I have good visibility just about level with the her pink pussy lips. I like to tease and pull her beautiful lips. I marvel at making them into a butterfly. I expose her clit. I love to make her squirm. I don't talk much as I grow more incessant in my examination. I get buried in my work sometimes..... more literally this time than most.

I love that first moaned 'ahhhh' as I enter her. The little gasp as I enter her quickly makes my heart flutter. I withdraw so I can set it up again. I caress her some more until I spend more time inside her than outside.

I give her wet pussy a pretty good workout with 3 and then 4 fingers. I know that Plum likes to feel filled. I go back to 2 fingers and do a little dance on her clit. I build and back off a number of times. Plum comes hard as I let her go. I like controlling her. The next will be quicker. As usual I love to squeeze a bunch of orgasms from her. I view myself as taking them from her. The fact that she gives them up freely is of little consequence after the first 5-7. I am in control and she knows it.

As the orgasms slow down, I brink out the ultimate weapon. I leave her breast and use my free hand to spank her. I am not gentle with her. I want her to be surprised. We're past the point of knowing whether I am out of control, so I just wail on her. She comes back to life and is good for 3 or 4 more cums. This is when she squirts the most. She is completely mine at this point.

I keep taking her hard until she collapses on the bed in a spasming heap of cunt meat. She is very much worn out after having yielded her body and soul to me.

I feel like I have just come hard myself. I'll recover quickly and give her a good fucking. I pin her to the bed by massaging her g-spot by pressing decidedly downwards as though I am making sure her clit is making firm contact with the bed sheet. She can not summon the energy to raise herself off the bed. I take one more orgasm as a victory lap. She is mine.

I say 'wow' out loud as I realize that she has now yielded completely to my will. Only two fingers deftly massaging her g-spot, keep her right where I want her. We have each give the other our most precious gift, our my private act that drives our souls.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Held down and rubbed, hard

"On your hands and knees," Andre says, and I get up on the bed in that classic naked slut position, ass in the air.

I can look in the mirror as he shoves his hand inside me, holding me flat with one hand, while rubbing me with the other.

"Oh, oh, oh." I always say the same thing, moan from the back of my throat the same way, feel the same amazing excitement as he teases my g-spot over and over, fingering my ever-wettening cunt till I'm begging for him to press the joyspot buzzer and help me see stars.

"Do you want it? Do you want to get fucked?" he asks, and I say 'Yes, please, fuck me, fuck me with your hand, hard," and when he does it's magic all over again, a series of crescendos as I come and come and come, only this time he's holding me down so I can barely move.

That sense of being restrained, of being held down and controlled is so exciting, so hot,that by the time Andre is done, I'm just so stoned, so sexually thrilled and muddled.

We hug and kiss and cuddle, and I doze against his broad chest.

And then, after a while, he looks at me with those green wolf eyes. "I think you need another one," he says. "I definitely think you can come again."

And then, he makes sure I do. And it's so good this time, it's better than ever.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Fleshbot, Jane's Guide and Viviane's Sex Carnival

This blog's been listed in the Jane's Guide directory under BDSM submissives and recommended as "A blog not to be missed." (Which makes me feel great.)

Plus, we made Fleshbot and Viviane's Sex Carnival.

Thanks, perverts.

A pleasant surprise

Plum just called to schedule a date and chit-chat. I have to head for Plum's house now(in the middle of the day) while Plum is at work to pick up a forgotten camera. I'd do it later, but must come home to finish my taxes and mail them tomorrow. We set a date for tomorrow night, dinner and a promised spanking.

It was good to talk without a goal in mind. I worry sometimes that we spend a lot of time discussing things, and little time resolving things. Also, sometimes a discussion leads to opening a wound that perhaps was better off left to heal some more or ignored. Of course, the flip side is the wound could become infected if not treated. Life gives us lots of wounds and even infections can be treated.

No magic answers here.......

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Am I the one? Is it too soon to know?

Plum didn't show her talk post as mentioned. I found it after we had the talk this afternoon. Nothing surprising here, guilty as charged. I am now very much aware that it takes a while for me to fully recover. Perhaps there is a transition time for Plum as well. My heart connection is on a roller-coaster.

I've more or less accepted Plum's interests in D till now. It was easier before when we were not as close as now. It was easier while I dated someone else until two months ago. I also had a F-Buddy who I gave up seeing because I wanted to concentrate on Plum and simplify my feelings. I see D as her backup plan, a safe security blanket that has been washed many times and very worn. I'll let Plum speak of her feelings and me of mine.

When we first dated, Plum was a secondary relationship for me. A few weeks after we started dating, in a discussion much lighter than the one we had yesterday and this AM, I mentioned something that was to set our course in another direction. A kitchen talk had me talking in a manner that Plum was a secondary relationship for me...... WHOOPS!

Plum wanted a me as a primary. I was newly dating Miss Sharp Pen who I met at the same time as Plum four months ago. Plum already had a relationship with D. We both finessed our positions a little in the talk and we changed our relationship course somewhat. At about the same time, Miss Sharp Pen wrote an email missive about a relatively silly issue that started a hurtful fight between her and I us that gave me the notion that Miss SP was not a long-runner in my life.

Plum switched places rapidly in my life hierarchical order of love in my mind. She talked constantly of a future and about our short range dreams. Eventually a month later Miss Sharp Pen gave me a 100% or nothing ultimatum. This was a bold power-play that she lost. Plum is now my sole love. I would not seek another secondary for the time being. Plum and I are a much better fit and I am hard pressed to imagine how it could get much better.

Plum and I in the meantime got a lot more serious. Plum's affections were clearly toward me, but she was still seeing D , sometimes sharing parts of weekends like last weekend. I knew that they would spend Friday night together and I would join them for an event on Saturday during the day as a way to ease his pain about being less important. A minor strain that was easier for me to agree to earlier in the weekend, but when faced with Friday night alone, Plum could see I was in a funk when she called to say hello while she was on her date with D and telling me they were watching a movie. I think she was trying to be nice, but I was home doing nothing and missing her. The next day event went OK, we had a good time, but Plum got a rare headache and we scurried home hastily a little earlier than planned. I spent the rest of the weekend with Plum and D went home to his house. Plum and my recovery was great.

As a trial and as a expression of a committment Plum and I spent two extra nights together on Monday and Tuesday. We want to get beyond dating and spend more time living together. All went very well. I purchased new eyeglasses at a shop near Plum's house. Plum helped me pick out the frames. They said that they would be ready on Thursday or Friday, I asked for Thursday because I could be with Plum Thursday night and pick them up

Plum later announced to me that Thursday night wasn't good because she made a date with D for that night, he would be staying overnight. This was a miss-step that left me hurt and wondering. Not that I had any claim to Plum's sole affection, but that there were no plans earlier in the week when we discussed spending more time together and then one was made. I drove a two hour trip on Thursday to pick up my glasses without seeing Plum.

This past weekend made up for my discomfort, but I am left wondering why it is going this way. Is it nights I spend alone, it is the nights that I could have spent with Plum, or am I smothering her? I am questioning polyamory and I think Plum is also. So much sizzle, but so much chance of crashing. For now I wouldn't date anyone else. We are committed to each other........... time will tell what happens.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Night time. At Andre's.

You can tell we're passing from the courtship stage to the couples stage, at least in part, because we've agreed to put our laptops on the kitchen table and geek out for a bit--i.e., blog.

We've spent part of the day talking about some serious stuff, part of the day making love, and part of the day out with an old friend, exploring--and showing off--the area.

In bed this morning, it was so good when we made love, but I felt like the shadow of our talk was on us; for all the passion we each showed, it struck me that we didn't look at one another as much as we usually do. I thought that was because we'd been talking about where our relationhship was going, about whether the levels of committment and intimacy were moving forward and there were some issues we identified where we didn't quite agree and it made us, except for the end, turn away from one another a little bit.

Issues, for example, like my relationship with the already attached to someone else D.
And how that relationship makes Andre feel on the nights he's home alone.
And issues like my own fears about how fast things are going and my fears of letting go of D, and my confusion about whether keeping a relationship as constrained as that one is silly and would I be better off to just to to keep D as a friend.

So now we're sitting beside one another at the kitchen table and Andre is writing email and I am writing this and in a few minutes I am going to say I wrote this and suggest he read it before I make it go live.

And that's the other reason I wanted to open this blog to Andre--because I knew, blogging together would become another way to share and open a dialogue with him, a way to guarantee we know and talk about all the deepest thoughts we have the courage, at least, to blog.

It's going to be interesting to add this extra--and perhaps somewhat artificial layer--to how we connect, but it's also, I hope, another way to share--and to talk.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Part 2 - Plum's First Public Scene, a ripening

Plum is being used in her first public scene. She's chained to the Saint Andrews cross in the basement of a public dungeon, arms held high, naked, vulnerable, so giving, so open, and so deliciously lovely and juicy.

Her ass is reddened, I turn her around, I've had enough of her backside. I love her breasts, they are so pert. Her nipples are large and very red. They are so suckable, and begging to be taunted. I love breast torture, and am spurred on when she reminds me that they seem to be hard-wired to her clit. It stirs my cock as I remember her standing there.

I take a flogger and lightly begin a sensuous stroke. Not too hard at first, I want her to savor it, and embrace the play. I start with a furry flogger to bring her up slowly. I switch floggers as she hungrily dances. Our play is interactive. We joke and taunt each other. I tell to stick it out, she laughs and does the reverse.

Some Doms have to be in complete control and wouldn't tolerate her behavior. I just take it as a flirty plea for more. I am much bigger than Plum and enjoy knowing that she could never win our little game and I know her submission is her gift that she will ultimately offer.

I take my riding crop and now work over each breast. The pink wobbly bits are the last to succumb to my will. I enjoy seeing her wince and jump. I bring her up quickly, keep her on edge, and make her walk that thin line between pleasure and pain. I enjoy it as the line gets blurred. I relish it when she can not tell the difference. It is a space we both can enjoy.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Plum's gift to Andre

Plum squirts again!

While making love, there is little more erotic to me than a woman who squirts. Plum usually has at least 10 orgasms in our love making sessions. She needs little foreplay and with a few while chosen words and me massaging her g-spot, she can be gushing in less than a minute. The reality is that we are much more that just squirting. It is the outward manifestation of her gift to me. She is giving me the ultimate gift of her womanhood, her soul, and her needs.

I give her cunt a good workout, I am always amazed at how much she can take, in a really excited mood, I hook my fingers into her cunt around the pubic bone and shake her like a rag doll while keeping two finger tips pressed against her G-spot.

I've learned just how to touch her. As I explore Plum's g-spot with my 2nd and 3rd finger, I can feel her cunt tighten. She milks my fingers as I touch her. She works her muscles hungrily as I zero in on the spots I know will cause her to have an explosive orgasm and loose control. When planned right, we place a bath towel under her ass, otherwise we will soak the bed with her sweet nectar.

For Plum, squirting can occur in many positions. Our simplest is her laying on her back with her legs in the air. Her nectar is always nearly odorless and sometimes almost on the sweet side.

Plum orgasms and squirts and then recovers very quickly. I love to coax just one more cum from her. I've taken 5 or 6 in 10 minutes time, with me saying that each one will be the last one. The last 3 will be as she begs for mercy. If I really press her, I'll sometimes, for an extra reward, nibble on a breast and nipple, or touch her throat. This is sensory overload for her, and her protestations become very confused. Bringing her to this point makes me really hard and I love to give a good hard fucking for my ultimate award.

So vulnerable, so depraved, so submissive. so very sweet.......... so very intimate. I love her.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

The pussy mouth

It's night and I am deep throating Andre's cock, nestling down against his body so he can fuck my face like a hungry pussy, his cock plunging in an out of the hot, sucking wet as his hands hold me down.

The cool night air wafts across my skin as my mouth stretches to take him deeper and his hips arch as they plunge him into me, into my mouth so wet and slippery with ropy saliva it takes on a whole new consistency.

"Oh, I'm fucking your face like I'm using your cunt," he mutters and as his hands keep me in position, I know it feels so good for both of us.

"Turn over and let me fuck you," he says soon enough, and then he's inside me, moving hard once more, his hips pumping into the vacumn of my cunt, the wet, tender flesh tightening around him as I start to come.

"Ohh, it's so good," I moan, and there's the pleasure of his hand on my neck, the big thumb holding me, directing me, as I feel him explode inside me and we both come and come, first one then the other, joined together on a trip wire that started with me sucking his cock.

Part 1 - Plum's First Public Scene, a ripening

We had looked forward to this play party for weeks. Plum eagerly awaited her first submission to me in public, a symbolic sign to the world.

I packed the toy bag as Plum got dressed, several outfits were selected before settling on a darling corset that was innocent enough when worn under a top with jeans, but showed the tops of her creamy breasts when more was revealed. We were going shopping first, so street attire was needed. The metamorphosis would occur later.

We arrived a little early at the dungeon. I decided that I wanted a particular St. Andrews cross in a corner play space. Not too distracting, but within view of most attending We agreed to the house rules as we signed the obligatory waiver that essentially indemnified the club for any liability that resulted from anything I wanted to do to Plum.

The Dungeon Master was there to make sure we played safely. We were assigned a locker that was mildly reminiscent of being in a high school locker room years ago, but now it was coed.

Off came her street clothes. I put her collar on with great affection, it is our symbol of love and trust. Her trendy boots gave way to delicious heels that looked good with her crotchless fishnets.

Plum was transformed from a kicky little woman who was attending her first public play party to a hot little slut who's major desire was to please me. I was so happy she was there with me.

We went and found that the spot I wanted was free. She became very pensive as I led her there and began to setup the toys I selected for her first public scene; an assortment of floggers, canes, and various tools of personal torment.

The cross was sturdy and securely fastened to the wall. It was over seven foot tall which dwarfs Plum's petite statue. Plum balked when I stretched her cuffed arms towards the I-hooks that were almost two feet over her head; we negotiated using some chain to make it lower for her. This was the last negotiation we would do for a while. She was mine.

I removed Plum's corset, and then fishnets, it's a shame because they looked so slutty, but I didn't want to risk destroying them when I flogged and caned her. Of course, I had good access for spanking her, but better to be safe than sorry.

Placed face towards the wall, Plum's bare back and ass looked so delectable. Words like juicy, taunting, curvaceous, and enticing all came to mind.

Starting lightly with the bunny flogger which has a mixture of fur and deer leather, I began to work her over so nicely. I watched her flinch as I tested her.

A little jump here or there as I flogged harder to get her attention. Varied strokes got varied reactions. I like teasing, so doing the unexpected can be counted upon.

I love how my little sub flinches, jumps, and moans. I take her to the point where she may 'yellow', our safeword that says slow down, I am near my limit. I test her limits and try to stay on the edge. I tease her with 'good cop, bad cop' strokes. I use my nails on her back and shoulders.

I reach around and play with her large nipples that are now so erect and hard, as I press my body against her roughly. I love pulling, stretching, and twisting their pink tips. At one point I make her dance. We check in a lot. She is lost in her own thoughts.

I decide I want her hooded. Plum has a great black spandex hood that allows access to her mouth and eyes. It is erotic and oh so slutty. We use it as one of those items that is symbolic of her submissiveness, a trigger for both of us. I also blindfold her as well. Cuffed and blindfolded removes more of her freedom as I continue to mark my territory. Her cute ass reddens as I use floggers, canes, and slappers with little mercy.

To be continued........

Monday, April 09, 2007

Night, and morning

The way Andre and I cuddle up together at night is so delicious, so satisfying, it makes me never want to let him go.

And the positions!

There's falling asleep curled against his back, one arm thrown over his (gigantic) side, and then there's falling asleep cuddled in his arms, my back tucked against his check, his long legs thrown over my side so firmly I feel like I an nested inside a cave.

And then there's touching back to back as we face opposite sides, our skins the curve of whales meeting in the ocean, the cool air drawing us together into deep, warm touch.

When it's dark and late in the evening and I get up to pee, Andre's hand flutters and touches my arm. In the early morning light, he reaches for me and holds me close and I love the feeling of curling against him.

And then, there's the morning, when waking up next to him is equally delicious.

First, there's his smile in the morning, in the still dim light, as he wakes in my bed and sees me there. The peace and delight in his eyes is as bright as a child's and it makes me reach for him and hold him tight.

"Good morning," he says, or "Hello," and my response is always to smile and then curl up in his arms.

Very soon, I will be touching his body and stroking his arms, his legs and his stiffening cock, very soon I will be petting and caressing him with my eager hands, wanting us to wake from sleep together into a paradise of loving smiles and loving touch, the perfect way to begin the day.

Walking Naked & Collared with Andre

"Let's go upstairs, slut," Andre says, neatly packing the floggers in the trim black suitcase after he's helped me off the St. Andrew's cross in the crowded dungeon. Around us are dozens of playing perverts--a red-headed domme and her Asian boy, bound in rope and shackled; a lithe blonde chained to a post, being flogged by what has to be her high-tech Dom; a slight woman in a bright pink dress punching a tall, sallow man with a shaven head in the chest and a heavy set submissive woman bent over and being paddled by her tall, long-haired Dom.

We're in the Dungeon--an S&M club near our town--and this is my first play party, my first time stripped and hung on a cross in a place where we paid to get in, and I've just been spanked, whipped, flogged and paddled right into sub-space by Andre.

"Keep your collar on," he says, gripping my elbow and I flinch--because I am not wearing any clothes.

"Can I put my dress on, please?" I say.

His eyes turn cold. "No."

"Can I put on my shoes, please?"

He nods. "Okay."

I put the black high heels on, wondering how I've made the leap from never playing in public to walking around a sex club with my Dom, undressed for the world to ogle.

Tossing my hair at him, I smile. "I love how I can abdicate the choice to naked to you," I tease. "This way I can pretend I have no responsibility for my exhibitionistic streak."

"I know that," he responds, and as I wish we'd brought the leash, he takes me by the elbow and we begin to make our way through the crowded room.

"Oh, one second," he says, and takes off his own clothes, so except for a jacket, he too is naked.

We go through the dungeon and up the stairs to the more public room; he makes me wait in the hall while he goes in the bathroom and washes his hands.

The crowd is more casual here--and more dressed--Curious eyes light on me and men smile but I am busy telling myself tough it out. Soon, Andre returns and says, "We can go downstairs now. You can put your dress on."

"Okay," and follow him back down, down past the couple with the violet wand and the Tens machine, past the Dom doing an elegant Florentine on a woman's back, past the violent joy of a threesome in a medical scene.

When we get back in the corner, our spot is already taken, the suitcase moved aside to make room for a tall redhead and her partner to huddle in a death and another submissive chained to the cross who looks up with sad eyes as we sidle past.

Soon I am no longer naked, the little black dress fitted tightly around my breasts and thighs, the corset, fishnets and earrings still stuffed in the big black bag, but I am left with the image of myself following Andre through the crowd, standing beside him in collar, restraints and heels, and I move quietly beside him and remember how erotic it was, so teasing and how I felt so goddamned hot.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Threesome Fantasy or My Birthday Present

Let me preface this blog with a serious; it has to feel right for it to happen! I've long wanted to experience two women in a sexual date where I was the focus of the pleasure. Whether this is a gift we give in real life is a question to be answered.

Although I have no false illusion that I could keep up in a sexual performance sort of way, if there was chemistry between all three(or four), I am sure that no one would be starved for sexual enjoyment.

As the sensual Dom, My fantasy is Plum going out and finding a woman to join her and I. Plum wrote about dancing at the cafe 7 weeks ago which really turned me on. They both got pretty slutty on the dance floor. I enjoyed the show. We disagree on whether she would have come home with us, I think not. I know she wanted Plum, and I dream that she would have used me to get to her.... a treat for all of us. I'm sure Plum will be balancing her own needs with her desire to give me my fantasy. Perhaps she would involve another couple, so there was something for everyone.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

A fantasy

One of the things about having a D/s relationship with someone who's fairly normal and well-adjusted in most ways is that sense of a secret, that there's something about the Dom and his slut that others just don't know.

I feel that often with Andre when I'm hanging out with him and his friends, the men genially flirting as they sip a drink, the women tossing their hair as they lean back against the bar, settling into their high-heeled shoes.

" If Fred only knew about us," I often think, knowing the whole crowd thinks Andre is the hot-blooded bachelor extraordinaire, the older guy who manages to turn up with a string of lively women, all younger than him, each more vibrant than the next (Yes, I am crowning myself at the top of that list.)

I know they've seen us grope one another, sensed the passion in our kisses, and are very certain we're having a great time getting it on--but I think only a few suspect there could be anything more than the heavy breathing of middle-aged passion--and those few would never utter a word.

And yet, as much as I rely on his straight friends not knowing, do not want them to know, one recurrent fantasy of my nights alone with my imagination and my hand is to see myself with Andre, naked, collared and cuffed, and ordered to service his friends.

Night after night, alone in my empty bed, I pleasure myself with the fantasy of Andre directing me to touch and suck Al's cock as his friend touches my breasts.

--And it's not any one guy--it's the general fantasy of servicing someone else--just about anyone--at my lover's direction, as an expression of how I enjoy pleasuring him, and by extension, would pleasure someone else at his direction.

This same fantasy goes into high gear as I imagine two on two scenes with couples he's been chatting with, Andre directing me as I kiss and fondle the husband while he touches the wife, the four of us in some slutty post-high school scene as enticing as it is silly.

Yes, the big kick here is the fantasy of what hould happen on Andre's order, and with Andre watching, as though everything I do with someone else is an expression of the passion and the sensuality I feel when I am with him.

Like a hungry slut, eager to be fucked, I imagined myself taken out, touched and used at his direction, all of it somehow humiliating and yet stimulating to him in a way that makes me more desirable than ever.

Reality check:
Would I ever want any of this in real life?
The swinging part--um, probably yes.

The servicing his friends--a pretty firm no.
But it is great masturbation fodder.

A dream come true

Since this blog is new to me, I started reading some of Plum's old blog entries as a catch-up. I relish the fact that I am the subject of some, and that I know the others Plum writes about. I found myself aching and wishing Plum and I were here(or there) together tonight.

I find it erotic to not touch myself( polite speak for jerk-off ) as I get aroused at Plum's writing and thoughts, ….. it is HER JOB TO SERVICE MY NEEDS… and she does it sooooo well!

I very much see a new intimacy here as we make this transition and shift. I always knew she loved me, but seeing them in writing is a whole other realm. We deepen our thoughts and share them with others as a declaration to the world of our love.

It is amazing. I have dreamed of relationships like ours as I read couples blogs previously. It is so erotic to be in one.

I marvel that ours' is a complete relationship. Sharing everything together, vanilla and otherwise. Yes, we smile when we say, 'if they only knew the whole truth'.

No deceit here, we just share on a need to know basis.

Plum, I cherish you and want your body and soul!

Plain and simple! We have so much to give each other............ and we will!


Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Owned--and intimate

I've read and admired--and often been amused by--couple's blogs. Griz and Goodgirl, Kaya and her master, Toy and her Darklord, Goose and Gander, Pink and Brat, and lots of others over the 18 months of reading sex and erotic blogs.

And now I'm at that moment where I've made the leap and invited someone else from my real world into my world of sex blogging right here. Wow. I am surprised--but it just feels right.

The kind of passion and intimacy I am building with Andre makes me want to not only give myself to him, but to reveal and share a more secret self, and in that to both create a deeper bond with him and give us this space to share and interact in.

Just as I have real world connections with some of the (sex) bloggers I read, Andre and I can write about ourselves, each other, and whatever is on our mind, and use that as a way to achieve greater intimacy--and if it doesn't work out, I just delete him.

(Okay, that's an evil joke.)

The drama with D

So as Andre and I get closer, the drama with D, my now long-time attached lover, builds.
The sex is still good, but not as good as it was before, and sometimes it's not good at all.
We have a powerful heart connection, and I love him, but it frustrates me he doesn't see that Andre can give me things I want that he can't--and never could.

The most irritating thing is that D's like a child, a pouting, petulant child. His ego is bruised because I have such a strong attachment to someone else and he doesn't want to move to second place. I feel for him, and I understand that--and yet, I have little patience with it.

My wish is that D would understand I'm becoming more like him, with a strong tie to Andre and another tie to D---but he sees it as my rejecting him, not my adding new pepole in.

A new path, a new direction

After being married twice for many years, I've spent the last few years in my third trimester of life. My last marriage went stale after years of waiting for minor issues to resolve which left me wanting a richer sex life. I had always envisioned that the golden years would be sexual bliss.... free of money issues, kid issues, and at the same time knowing each other like a glove.

In my mid-fifties, I awoke at 3 AM one night with an erection. A dwindling sex life at hand, I decided that I didn't want to be denied. I initiated foreplay, tenderly, but asserted, she seemed to be feigning sleep. Finally she growled, "go back to sleep"! My calm reply was "Let's talk about this in the AM".... her response hit me like a bucket of cold water.... "after I'm done studying". She was preparing for a big test. I had an "aaaahhhh ha" moment.... this was all about her. Although I didn't expect sympathy at 3 AM, a light bulb went on, my golden years were about to be very different than I expected.

The discussions the next AM were fruitless and futile for me. Her feeling was that in our mid-fifties, we were over-the-hill sexually. She felt she was normal. Menopause left her sexually apathetic, and I was over-sexed and should get counseling. No health issues for either one of us. All I could think of is, "Is this all there is???".

The marriage ended in hours with me feeling hurt and my needs as a man minimized. I went off to do some chores that would take me away most of the day. We checked-in with each other other over the next week or two while remaining distant. Neither was budging.

We agreed to an amicable divorce. Fifteen years together and we came to an abrupt ending. Seemingly nothing was wrong to outsiders, we actually were best friends to each other. We had a nice life, a nice shared hobby, financially secure, some great kids(from prior marriages) that each adored. We were each others best friend if we didn't look too deep.

But still, I had a deep betrayal. She feels that she set me free.... Our one common ground was not being angry, we decided not to spend a lot of energy fighting.

She moved out less than two weeks later. I kept the house and cars. She brought an impractical import that was cute, but much too small for my tall frame.

I rationalized that it was my fault. I let the infection between us set in and take hold. I was the nice guy who didn't pressure and pester for sex. But, also there was no communication, and no platform or forum to discussion anything of a sexual nature. There was pure denial on both of our parts. I was a nice guy, too laid-back and no-pressure.

I started dating. I nurtured a latent interest in BDSM and D/s. A candy store of delights that had my nose pressed against the window glass.

Being interested in these activities was the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval for a woman with a passion, libido, and desires. I wanted the proverbial lady in the parlor, whore in the bedroom.

I began to attend munches, workshops, and play parties. I became interested in submissive women who were reasonably stable, but had an edge. Many came from beleagured marriages like I had. Identifying with each others' plight was pretty easy. I often joked about setting their ex-'s up with my ex-, they would both be happily passionless.

I dated a number of women seriously in romances that lasted from 6 to 18 months. I worked hard at searching for my ideal mate. I was seldom not in a relationship. I made ever better choices for partners.

Then, I found polyamory about 3 years ago. Dating two submissive woman at a time in a complete relationship was like heaven. Complex and rich, but complicated. I lived with a woman until just before I met Plum who was polyamorous and fun, but not meant to be forever.

Plum and I met at a party by chance. We were each there with another partner . Exchanging info on the side, we wrote and called each other a few days later. The tryst was on.

We found that it was fun and deep to discuss what we wanted and how we failed in our prior relationships. Our chemistry was as amazing as our physical differences.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Been there, done that, maybe again

Plum doesn't know, but about 4 years ago, my pubes were shaved also.

I was dating a woman who didn't like hair on my face or balls. In a temporary fit of insanity I shaved my beard for the first time in almost 25 years. The year before I shaved had my head and kept the beard, I just wanted something different, like getting a tattoo ir a piercing. . As if the face wasn't enough, my woman also got me to shave my balls, or rather she did it.

It was pretty weird doing both, particularly the head. The pillow felt so cold. A night time breeze was like a gale force wind. My biggest regret is that I attended my daughter's wedding with a shaved head, and all of the pictures were of me in a time and space that few remember. I don't think anyone knew the rest of the story, my balls and cock were naked too.

I liked the way the balls felt. Plum trimmed me a few weeks ago, it was very erotic. Yes, I'd let her shave me. It would certain be, you can do me, I can do you! A rare treat!

Sunday, April 01, 2007

A new step--and an outing

I showed this blog to Andre. In fact, he is sitting right here next to me as I type this. And he is going to join this blog as a co-writer--posting his own comments and views in his posts.

It was an amazing feeling to decide to share the blog with Andre--and this will be an interesting next step.