Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Magic, again (taking a pass)

Magic was here last night, charming and smart and friendly.
Only when he kissed me and when we made out on the couch, his energy was...dark.

Under the smiling exterior, my friend Magic was a dark animal, all snarling fangs and claws and teeth, teeth he carefully controlled so as not to scare away the lovely maiden, the maiden unrestrained by cuffs or rope.

A biter. Fierce. Maybe even possessed by an animalistic fantasy.

His mouth, his hands and teeth on my body felt good, I moaned when he tugged at my lips and my clit, but I was scared.

There is no way I could ever let that dark energy inside me, ever let that animal force come close enough to risk he'd tear me apart,

Magic, I am going to tell you no thanks, this girl is taking a pass.

Morgan, again

Did I say how thick and long his cock is, and how I'm entranced by that fleshy tip?
And how he smiles in a way that makes my heart spin?
And how the poetry he quotes is so beautiful and seductive?

We make beautiful love.
And then I realize he's holding off on deciding what it all means.
I don't match his model of what a life partner should be, you see.
I run the risk of being dismissed for not being quite what he wants.
Guess he runs that same risk.

I am feeling scared because I could fall in love with this man,
And he could hurt me.
And there's no way to play it but straight.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Magic is Magic

So I saw Magic last night and we walked and talked.

He's interesting...maybe not as kinky as I'd thought (hoped?) but with a questioning heart and a taste for spanking, rope, and adventure.

We've been very hands off, but I liked the way he pulled me to him when we kissed, his hands on my back, my breast.

And yet I am not sure we'll really mesh...still exploring and finding out.

Sex and me

I thinmk I just decided that this moment is about dating and having fun and that I should sleep with whomever I want to and gather ye roses while ye may.

I'm heartened by this chance to see multiple people (still selective) and be a slut.


Sunday, July 15, 2007

Me and D

So D and I have reconnected, but in a new way. We're still close, but I am dating and seeing other people and looking for someone who can be central in my life at the same that I have also acknowledged how important I am to D--and he to me--So, we're figuring out what that means.

For D, it's hard, because he was happy the way things were--and while he agrees I need and should have this freedom, it feels like less to him.

In addition, he is both protective of me and has bad boundaries--I don't plan to tell him alot about my other relationships unless someone arises who is significant--and I am going to use this burst of freedom to experiment with people and relationships it would be hard to do with him (like a threesome, or swinging)--but I know he would like to know everything, blow by blow, if for no other reason that to not feel left out.

I have to say I don't see a bright future for us, and in some ways I think reconnecting at all is/was a mistake. But I love him and care for him and so I am going to give it a try, in this new form, and see how it all works (or doesn't) work out.

(If anyone is wondering if I hide D from other people I meet, the answer is no, but I am also clear that he is not (and no longer) the central person in my emotional and sexual life.)

Heading for a threesome

So I was out last night with a bevvy of friends and lovers, and everyone thought I looked really hot--it was a gratifying experience to recognize I was one of the hottest women at the party, and that men--and women--were attracted by my energy and how I look (not to mention my cleavage). That was fun.

But it was even more fun to see Terry, a friend who's always touchy-cuddly with me, and his wife Rhea, who I've known and liked for a year. They've always been people who give me this little sexual frisson--her cat-like eyes and greedy wide smile, his Buddha smile and (respectfully )lacivious eyes and hands.

After fun and cuddling, toward the end of the night, Terry snuggled up close to me. "I spoke with Rhea and we agreed to ask you 'What offer could we make to interest you in spending intimate time with me--with Rhea included?'"

I know my grin grew really wide as I laughed with delight. "Terry, you don't have to entice me--I have been thinking about the same thing--for a while! I am totally interested!" (I didn't mention at that moment that this would be my first threesome--but I bet they know it.)

"Yeah, Rhea and I were talking about it, and we thought that might be the case." He smiled and moved slightly against me. "Look how hard my cock is getting just thinking about it."

I laughed, we hugged and we discussed some of the logistics for later, aka when this might happen.

Later, right before I left for home, I went and hugged Rhea. "Your husband propositioned me," I said.

"Yes, I know, he asked me first."

"And I told him I was totally up for being with the two of you--that would be nice." (Much hugging and giggles.)

So I am going to get to have that threesome I wanted, with two people I like and trust, both of whom are no slouches in the sensuality department, and I think it's goin to be somewhere between mind-blowing and really fun.

Wow! (The thought crosses my mind this could also be anything from one time fun, to loving friendship to--hey!--a triad--but I am going to stay anchored in the present and just think about the first time...that's enough.

(And of course, the thought crosses my mind that if I get caught up with Magic, the promising Dom, these kinds of plays will either be forbidden (ugh) or would have to be kept secret (that's just not me)--so more to think about as I proceed down the course (life course, that is.)

Saturday, July 14, 2007

5 fingers and Morgan

The other part of the story is the five fingers Morgan puts inside me as he licks my clit, the way his teeth tug and his mouth kisses and the deep furrow his brow makes as he focuses on making me come and come.

The other part of the story is how he wasn't on the list, wasn't the one I was thinking about, but now I'm heading straight into what's going to be a classic choice between two lifestyles: a gender-bending poly slut and a really interesting but probably very possessive Dom.

But right now that's all far away, because it's me and Morgan on my bed, and it's Morgan's face down between my legs, and Morgan's teeth nibbling on his lips and his hand pushing so hard, filling me up in a way that makes me just want to burst, and then it's the two of us cuddling and talking and the happiness that fills my heart and the small smile at the corner of his mouth that makes me wonder if I should let myself love him.


His cock is long and thick, fleshy at the tip, and as he gets hard it seems to grow bigger and bigger, some exploding plastic dirigible of a dick.

I want to take it all into my mouth and feel the tip push against the back of my throat, I want him to shove inside until I drool and choke, and it's good he knows I want exactly that and that he reaches down and grabs a hold of my hair and presses his pelvis into my face, it's good he wraps a leg around my throat and throws his hips half over my body (after making sure I have a free hand to push him away if I need to breathe), and it's especially good when I feel him start to explode, his dick farther down my throat than anyone's ever been, the orgasm starting to build in a way that makes me just want to swallow him.

And then it's fireworks and rockets and a faintly bitter taste in my mouth and my drooling semen and his hips rocking as he comes and comes, away in another place now, and yet completely here with me, sucked off by my pussy mouth.

Ladies and gentleman meet Morgan, a very special new friend.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

More on Magic

Magic and I are exchanging emails about who we are and what we want that are tugging at my heart.

The through review he is giving the things I tell him, and the thought and honest communication he is giving me, are pulling me toward him and opening my heart.

It has been a long time, I recognize, since a man asked, or implied he wanted, the kind of scrupulous self-examination writing back and forth with Magic seems to entail; my sense is that if we talk long enough, we will peel ourselves back, like onions, right to the heart.

I have three men I am dealing with: my loving friend, a man I have not met yet but will see next week, and my friend/former lover D. Of all of them, Magic seems like someone who could go the deepest toward my heart, but I don't really know him well enough to be sure, and I'm not going to rush finding out.

Whatever happens, I feel like our interchange is honest and powerful and I appreciate his triggering that.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Sugasm #87

Delayed--but still all good reads.

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants.

Want in Sugasm #88? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form.

Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

The Other Night that I Was Waiting For“We could have an entire relationship without ever leaving this spot.”
In the Beginning“The actual piercing was exquisite – one fraction of a second of pain, followed by a feeling of pleasure like I have never experienced.”
A modern romance or just wanking off in front of the computer screen?“And then there are some people you want in your bed. ”

Mr. Sugasm Himself --The Torture Porn Debate
Editor’s Choice --Never say never

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

10 phrases submissives love to hear

  • Take off your blouse.
  • Show me your breasts.
  • Come here.
  • Suck my cock.
  • Deeper.
  • Bend over.
  • Give me your ass.
  • You are a slut.
  • Do you like that?
  • This is mine.

(Inspired by confessions of an english gentleman)

Man talk--and Magic

So I am doing the more casual dating thing. It means less sex, and no BDSM, but it also means a chance to explore new opportunities without partners to alienate or consult.

There's Brian, the loving friend, who is coming over again this weekend, and D, my old partner, with whom I'm close--but in a completely different way--and then there's this man Magic, who I've just met, but who seems like he could be powerfully significant in my life--I hardly know him, but I'm highly intrigued by what I've learned to date, and have lots of vague impressions and questions.

Magic is kinky, a Dom, and into rope--and I suspect--discipline. Since I did not meet him through the local BDSM community, I have no idea how experienced he is, or how cruel, but my gut tell me his house has a dungeon--and I have this idea that he may also read (sex) blogs. We're at the stage where we're still figuring out the basic things--like could we enjoy having a conversation for more than 15 minutes--and how do our attitudes and values mesh (and we haven't even made it to sense of humor yet), and yet I suspect he is a passionate and demanding Master, and someone who is not casual about D/s at all.

Of course, the combination of someone I like in the vanilla world with someone with potentially well-developed and complimentary kinks is amazingly compelling--I can't wait to see what happens next (but I am guarding myself from rushing into anything too quickly.)

The funny part is, I know Magic is testing me--and I bet he is smart enough to know I know it. It's just these little things--clues, I'd day--but having been with a serious and experienced Dom once before, I recognize the focus and the energy in the questions.

On one hand, I am thrilled to have the chance to get to know him better--on the other, I'd have to be pretty smitten--and a great fit--to want to reengage deeply with someone who I suspect regards possession as 9/10ths of the law...after all, I still having made it to having a loving encounter with a couple, or any of that girl on girl stuff I once talked about exploring.

I am back..and back at it

Like the new design? A great friend helped me out with's like having a fabulous new dress--but one that won't wrinkle, stain or wear out. Thanks, dear!

All sorts of factors kept me away, but starting this week, I will be posting regularly...there's always lots to share.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Casual dating: a window opening, wide

So spending the night with someone as a loving friend probably has its good points, but my date last night wasn't just nice, it sizzled!

Lots of great talk, food, walking (all things I like), more talk, hugs and kisses and more touch, and the...more touch after that.

And while size doesn't matter, the fact he had a pretty great and thick cock was a discovery I didn't expect..and that fact he stuck his finger in my butt as he massaged my g-spot, and that he had a wonderful, probing was all good. As was the cuddling, the talk about sex and fantasies, the cuddling and..the cuddling.

This morning, we made love again and it was so nice and I felt so good about the connection.

And then he left and we agreed we'd want to see one another again, but didn't set a date--and a window into what more casual dating might look and feel like suddenly opened, wide.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Casual dating vs. Being a slut

It's occurred to me recently, that while I've done my share of exploring with others, I basically haven't done well at all in the casual dating realm. Instead, I've jumped into intense relationships with a few men, and dismissed those who didn't fit the bill.

Now, as I try to keep more time for myself, and also meet someone who would be a great partner in numerous ways, I'm thinking some more casual dating--and casual sex--is the way to go. Why date one man when I can get to know a few and comparison shop? Now that I am basically, why not do all the things I've wanted to do--and try not to get too bogged down in the bargain?

Also, why don't I try to meet more men in the real world? Goodness knows, there's a lot of spicy activities out there--how about I try partaking in some of them?

In that spirit I am seeing a friend tonight who I've always liked...but have never thought of as boyfriend material, and I am relishing the idea I have no idea what is going to happen. Nice change, eh?

(Of course, I did change the sheets, just in case.)