Saturday, December 31, 2005

My first date fuck--and I squirted!!!

Alpha and I went out tonight to hear music. We'd met online, and after a week of emails and phone calls decided to first have coffee and then have dinner and go out to hear music, kinda a week of dating in one day.
Of course, we ended up at my place, making out on the couch.
Alpha is clearly a nipple fetishist, so he had an amazing time kissing and licking my big nipples and rolling them around in his fingers. By the time he had my shirt off and his hand down my pants, I'd decided I was going to sleep with him, and once I got his shirt off, I suggested we move to the bedroom.
Naked on the bed, pressing skin to skin, we caressed and kissed one another.
His cock is long and fat, something I've misssed, and he really knows g-spot anatomy--he put his fingers inside me and I basically went nuts with pleasure.
During my insanity, I came so hard I massively squirted all over the bed--there is a tremendous wet spot there now!!!
This is only big squirt #2 in my slut career, so I was impressed.
Soon I was sucking Alpha's nice thick cock and he was moaning as I took it down my throat.
I kissed it and licked it and then we put a condom on it and we fucked--first with me on top, then doggy style, then from behind where the woman lies down on her stomach and the guy jams it between her legs and into her pussy--But as he got a little soft, Alpha tried anal, and I could tell it would hurt too much with no warm up so I said not now and ended up giving him a hand job.
And did I mention I came 120 times, tho I was disappointed he didn't come inside me, condom or not (I mean having the guy come usually makes me come).
We kissed and smiled and he just left...This is only the third guy I have had sexual intercourse with since I became single 10 months ago--and it felt great!!!
Off to bed now--this little squirter needs her rest.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Sexual plans 2006

I haven't made much progress yet in expanding my sex life, though I have certainly tried to lay the ground work. However, the couples I've met online who are looking for a woman for a threesome seem either too hardened, or like one or the other is driving the process too hard--so the threesome thing hasn't moved along.
As for good old plain sex, something I can always use more of, I have met someone but one thing or another has come up that's led to us posting our meetings...maybe some progress there next week. And while there are lots of prospects, I don't have time to check them out --and maintain the relationships I have (and work, etc.)
As for group sex, bi-sexual sex, group BDSM play, etc....I am going to have to work my way up to all those...the nice thing about being single is there is no rush.
Some sexual hopes for 2006:

  • Become more of an ethical slut--read the book now and like it.
  • Expand into greater polyamorous perversity and sex in the moment--with people I know and trust.
  • Continue to build my bond with Z, but experiment with others with BDSM-tinged play without breaking our agreement that he--and only he--Master me.
  • Have a hot affair with a really great woman--or two.
  • Check out some play parties and group sex scenes--preferably with friends.

Anything else you all think I should be considering?

Monday, December 26, 2005


"I love to control you," Z says. "When I put my hands inside you and make you so excited, when I feel the waves of your orgasms build, I know that I control you, that I play you like an instrument.
For me that is the most exciting thing, better even than fucking--it's fucking with our minds."
We are lying in bed, talking after making love, as we often do. Z is explaining his dominance to me, what feels best to him--For me, who was never submissive before Z, this is all of keen interest.
"I've slept with a lot of woman and had some great sexual experiences," Z says. "K had big nipples and loved to have them tortured; L had a body very much like yours and always wanted to be spanked. But you're the first person who is both so close to my physical idea and so amazingly responsive--your body responds to me like no one I have ever experienced."
"I have no way of knowing," I say, "How much that is between you and I and how much is D/s--I wonder what would have happened if I'd been with another Dominant, someone else? Somehow, I don't see myself doing a good job as a conventional slave."
"Yes, I wanted someone where I could be dominant in the bedroom, and equal in all other ways," Z replies. "You are the perfect sub in bed, you are always open to me, always there--but my equal otherwise."
We continue to talk, discussing that favorite topic of couples everywhere--the miracle of meeting and joining together, the delight and surprise of having found one another, the deep pleasure we feel.
Only this time, it is different than before(when I was married, or back in the dark ages, before that:

  • I love a man with whom I practice S&M
  • A man who is Dominant while I am sub
  • A man with health problems that mean fucking often requires pills but who gives me more--and better--orgasms than I have ever had
  • I don't plan to be faithful--while I love him, I do not intend to be exclusive with him (tho he will be the only real Dom)
  • I have lots more sexual exploration to do
  • We're not going to live together anytime soon
  • I have no idea what I want the future to bring--and that's alright
And yes, in many ways, he is my Master, even though I thought I'd NEVER say that.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Reunion with Z

Z and I are together after almost a week apart.
He kisses and bites my breasts, pulling the nipples taut,
then turns me over and spanks me, hard, until my bottom is rosy red,
then puts a finger inside my ass, fucking it till I want to come.
Later, he puts his fingers inside me and makes my g-spot swell until I scream,
but it makes him so excited I have to kneel down and suck his cock.
Z uses my mouth like a pussy, thrusting in and out, hard, until I want him to fuck me so badly I am begging.
As he moves inside me, Z slaps my face, heavy blows to the cheek that totally turn me on, and then he hold my throat and controls me.
Soon, he is jerking off against my breasts, coming between my tits and rubbing the come on my cheek.
"I am your master,"he says. "I own you, I control you."
"Yes, you do, " I say, "And I love being your submissive slut."

Owned and branded 24/7

Found another BDSM/submissive blog,by Slave--or, she found me. I've added her to my blog list...hello, sister.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Welcome, Rose

Jefferson has a new sub..and she's blogging.
Welcome, Rose!
Jefferson,well done!

Friday, December 16, 2005

Lovers and then some

Last night, after we made love, Z and I lay in bed and talked.
Among other things, we talked about my other sexual partners and how he felt about that.
The short version would be while it's not what Z would choose for me, he understands how I feel
and what's motivating me (curiousity, lust, enjoyment) and he accepts it.
I think this is incredibly generous.
I also feel relieved he doesn't think I'm shopping to replace him (I am not).
And that he knows I am not going to have the kind of D/s relationship with anyone else I have with him.


We all have our fetishes.
My current fixation is the hood, which I don't have yet, and R's cock, which I do.
Z's current fixation is my breasts, or what he calls "your huge, hot tits."
What Z is really into is jamming his cock down my throat till I gag and my saliva is
all thick and ropy and then having me lube up his cock with the gluey strands and bend over and rub my breasts against his cock so he can fuck my tits.
Lately, he's come this way several times, and his only regret is that more of his come seems to
end up on him(which means I have to daintily lick it off) than on my breasts, where he would
like to see it displayed.
The cool thing here is that Z gets so turned on I get turned on too, so last night I was so into all this I was practically coming myself.
(There's nothing more gratifying than knowing your partner thinks you're the best sex he's ever had...and he's got the range of experience to have that opinion count.)

Thursday, December 15, 2005


I know I have an oral fetish of the worst kind.
Sucking Z's cock while he touches my g-spot has a way of driving me insane.
I'm able to relax my throat in a way that lets him go all the way to the back,
where I can clench my throat muscles around the tip
and make him nuts.
So I decided that I wanted a nice hood for Xmas. A heavy spandex hood with the mouth carved out, one that I can wear while Z fucks my face--and my throat--with his cock.
One that look hot with puffy lips and red lipstick, both of wich can be arranged.
I want my eyes covered, lips bare, sucking cock with red lips in that big black hood.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Hot tub tantric kundalini

D and I are in his hot tub, under the stars.
We're naked, and the warm water is as gentle as a kiss.
The stars shine above us, framing the crescent moon.
I am floating, D turns me this way and that.
His hands are a gift, the way he holds me.
Later, in the water, we do tantric breathing.
Panting together, we stare into one another's eyes,
breathing and floating in the water.

Thursday, December 08, 2005


My mouth is on your cock, my face against your thighs on the bed
as you lie sideways and fuck my face,
using my mouth like a pussy. warm and eager to swallow your skin.
You thrust into me, hot and wet,
over and over, your skin like silk against my teeth,
your cock full against the back of my throat.
I kiss you
I lick you
You stuff yourself into me
until I choke
until I feel your body explode
and I have you still once again
--this time, under my control.

Threesomes: An all true story

So I went and had coffee today with a man I met online who wants to have a threesome with his wife...they had one a few weeks ago with a female friend and thought it went quite well; the point of our meeting was to check one another out and get to know each other better.
Here's the story Pine(what I am going to call him) told me:
He and his wife have been married over 30 years. His wife was always the quiet, shy type--until she went on a two week vacation to visit a friend in the Midwest this summer-- and something happened.
Apple (what I am going to call her)--came back and told Pine she wanted to see other men; he said okay, she put an ad up on the Internet and started meeting men: spankos, dominants, NSA cocksters, etc...4 or 5 a week.
"It might have bothered me," Pine said, "But she was so happy."
Finally, Apple told Pine he should have other friends, too.
So Pine hooked up with a poly friend of his, Banana (okay, a silly name) and they started doing it one in a while.
Meanwhile, Apple's been collared by one of the doms she's serving (there are two!), and is arranging a threesome with two strange men--and is interested in having another threesome with Pine and a woman--which is where I came into the picture.
So Pine and I have coffee, he tells me this story, and I say to him, "So, what do you want?"
And Pine looks at me with his soft blue eyes, cornflower blue as a bluebonnet in Kansas, and says "I don't know!"

I left it loose with Pine, because while he was a lovely, lovely man, I could see he truly did not know what he wanted...and was trying to keep up with his very busy, active wife--a situation too strange to get in the middle of (as in the babe sounds like a playa.)

Wednesday, December 07, 2005


So I have been sleeping with G; he says I am great in bed and we are having a nice time.
But when he is inside me, I think of Z--of Z's hand on my throat, his throaty passion,
the way he touches me like no one else does, how in tune we are.
As inexperienced as I have been, this is the first time sleeping with one man
has shown me the depth of feeling I have with another.
I can understand how there is a delicious peversity in affirming that unique love with every new man I with G reminds me that Z is special...but that G is nice, too.

The Collar

"The collar teaches me hunger: not for what I want, but for all you want of me."
--from pussy talk, a marvelous post therein

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Slutting it up

Have been talking to a man who recently started engaging in threesomes with his wife, with the idea we might meet and....
Have also made contact with a man who is into swinging and wants someone to go to parties with him--his take on how the bisexual women drive the whole thing is interesting--and probably not true.
And then there's another guy who sounds interesting--two, actually--thing is, I don't have time to handle all this opportunitie at what feels like an appropriate pace, not with work and Z and my friend G coming to town and meeting the polyamorist...
Whew! I need to be better at managing timing on all these possibilities...

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Breath play

Z and I are in bed. I've been away, and now I am back.
We cuddle and kiss and he touches the curves of my thighs, my hips,
my small waist and round bottom, my curvy breasts.

We kiss.
We kiss like two people who are drowning and want to float away entwined,
Like two people starving who want to lick up all the wetness,
Like ghosts made dense by the way our warm skins collide.

Z puts his fingers inside me.
I suck his cock till I choke, till he's thrusting deep at the back of my throat
and I'm so hot I want him to fuck me right then,
to come deep inside.

Z is in front of me, my legs pushed up and back, his cock stabbing into my cunt.
I tighten around him and it feels so good
feels so good as he tightens his hands around my throat
presses his hands down on my breasts,
presses his weight against my neck,
and comes hard, inside me
as I push his arms away and breathe
and scream
and breathe.

Later, much later, we cuddle and talk.
"I love to control you,"say Z. "I love the feeling of my hands on your neck.
How submissive you are. How you will do anything I ask."

"I only want to please,"I murmur as I curl against him,
thinking, for the 10,000 time, how amazing it seems that we could meet--
two people so adept at giving one another what they want.