Sunday, September 24, 2006

D/s and the Movies

Saw My Fair Lady tonight, and decided Phanton of the Opera isn't the only movie/show whose story had D/s elements I didn't see until I learned a little more about BDSM.
In MYF, Higgins desires to create a perfect object, to mold a woman to meet his requirements, and Eliza complies perfectly, letting the master be her teacher in all things.
Is there a D/s component in other films I missed?
Inquiring minds want to know.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Z, once more

I saw Z last night and for the first time in, oh, 7 months, he dominated me. He didn't feel up to making love, but we kissed and cuddled and touched.
Feeling the man who has given me the most intense sexual and emotional pleasure in my life put his hand around my throat and hold my head as he kissed me was thrilling.
When he unbuttoned my shirt, took a breast out of my bra, and sucked and chewed on the nipple in a way only he does, I wasn't surprised to hear myself moaning in the back of my throat.
"I want you to come back this weekend and suck my cock," he said, and of course, I said yes....enthralled by the idea of being enthralled by Z., again.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

A date with the Ex

So you know I was married for a long time, we were completely monogamous the whole time, and then my husband dumped me, right?
And that I meaningfully became a cheerful pervert, aka an ethical slut, and started experimenting after we broke up, yes? And that although I had sex with my ex once--okay, maybe twice--after we parted, he's basically been out of my life.
Well, today I had a date with my ex. It didn't start out as a date--he called and said he was going to be in my area for a street fair, and I happened to be home and said I'd like to go with him. So he picked me up and we spent the afternoon wandering the streets, eating, looking and talking. All that was very nice, very friendly, in truth.
But then, after he took me home and came into the house, there was a definite sexual intensity I felt from him.
He looked at me. "Plum, I have a request. Would you flash me?"
"I just want to remember....would you flash your breasts for me?"
I was shocked. I said, "You know, dude, I am definitely interested in sleeping with you, and sex with the ex is not a good idea so I am not going to do that. And I probably shouldn't show you my breasts, but if you get that this is is--what the hell."
So I turned around slightly, took off my black tshirt and my black bra, and faced him naked from the waist up, clothed only in my jeans.
He moved closer, looking intently. Lightly, he touched one breast, tracing the curve very gently.
I tried to read his eyes, imagining what he might be feeling, but had no idea.
He smiled slightly and said, "You always had the greatest breasts. These are the best."
I laughed. "I do have great breasts, thanks."
As I bent to get my clothes, he motioned to his crotch--"You want me to show you...?"
You do that and I will be sucking your cock in an instant, I thought, but I shook my head and said "No, let's not go there."
I put my clothes, then moved closer and hugged him, saying "I've learned it's possible to have close, intimate touch with people you care about without having sex--let's leave it at that."
I think he wanted to kiss me as we walked out to the car, but I didn't give him a chance.
And then, as he left, my heart exploded.
Was this basically a date with my ex? (Sure felt like it.)
Did I want to sleep with him (Yes, absolutely.)
Was I going to let that happen--absolutely not!

I treasure the idea of getting this man in the sack--his body is beautiful and I loved him for so many years. But the emotional fall out I have NO DOUBT I would experience after I slept with him would be almost as painful as getting divorced all over again--and I will go to great, great lengths to protect myself from that kind of pain.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Fuckalicious good

He is naked in bed, and I come in, also undressed.
I know how big and round my breasts look in the dim light, how the swell of my hips from my smaller waist is an enticing curve.
"Would you like me to rub your back?" I say sweetly, knowing he will not refuse.
"Oh, yes," he says, and I take the sweet oil and warm it in my hands before touching his back,
giving him that slow, soothing touch he has taught me to offer, my warm, feeling hands that find and rub out the tight points and the knots.
As I bend and stroke, my breasts fall and flick his back; my thighs cradle against his.
His eyes close tight,his face looks soft, relaxed, as I give him this touch, this pleasure.
My hands move down, over time, from his back to his hips, his hips to his legs, the sweet oil anointed across his thighs, his calves, the soles of his feet, his ankles. His skin is warm, no, hot to the touch, my fingers move lightly, but with strength and depth, as I press carefully into the muscles, smoothing out the knots.
Soon, I turn him over.
I warm my hands and put the sweet oil on my breasts, take more and add it to his hard cock.
His cock against my breasts feels so good, I know I am making him so excited he will not want to wait much longer.
A few seconds later he says "Would you like me to rub your back?"
"Oh yes," I say, turning over, knowing that he will run his careful, strong hands up and down my back, his strokes longer and longer, until his whole body is pressing against mine as his fingers draw up and down my back. I know, in a minute, I will feel his cock getting hard and harder, as he rubs my back, and that the moment will come as he rubs me, that my pussy lips will part and he will come right in, thrusting into me at the end of my massage until it's like he is rubbing from the inside. And I know it will feel so good, I won't want him to stop, and I'll come, hard, over and over, from the way he pushes himself into me, the way he holds and angles my hips, the way I open so wide to him so he comes right into my center.
And that's exactly what happens and exactly what he does, and exactly what I do too, until we are together on the bed, coming hard, one's orgasm setting off the other's, and it is fuckalicious good.

More on sex with other people

Did I mention that D is attached? Has another relationship, one that started way prior to our meeting? Or that he's slept with tons of people (but not since we've been together)?
We were walking and talking yesterday and we started discussing my interest in sleeping with more people.
"It's not that I want another committed relationship," I said. "It's that I'm super-curious. I want to figure out how I can have fall in love right now and not have it be meaningless no strings attached sex--but not have it be a big relationship--I don't have the bandwidth for one of those."
D laughed. "Well, it's something we could do together. I can take you to some play parties, maybe some swinger parties, and you can see what you like and what you might want to do more of."
"Sure," I say, and I like that idea, but I am also thinking "Hmmn, what might I want to explore without D (as opposed to with), and how do I make that happen without screwing this relationship up (literally)?
"You know, when I met you, I was so into you and so into making this work, I couldn't consider sleeping with anyone else except you (and Z, my original partner), but now, after all these months, my curiousity is coming back."
"I'm good with that," D says, "I just don't want you to run off with someone else. I worry you will meet someone you like better."
"You never know," I say, enjoying the moment, but also aware this is a good moment to process carefully.

(Inspired by a comment by Cherrie, the senuous libertine and a woman after my own heart)

Friday, September 01, 2006

Sex with new people and talk and telling truth

D and I were up at 5 am, talking in the dim morning light about sex, love, and fooling around. The theme for the morning was sexuality--After our months together, I'm getting interested in having more sex with new people--I want to experiment-- and I want to make sure our relationship keeps working.
"I've resisted the temptation to have sex with new people and not tell you about it," I say (which is mostly true, but not enough true for me to want him to read this post.) "I want to experiment, to just try different things...but I want to be honest with you as well."
"I took it pretty well about Bear, didn't I?" he says. "I didn't freak out that my girlfriend was sleeping with a younger guy in another city..."
"Yeah, you did great," I say, but what I am thinking is How can I have sex with other people and make that work? Do I have to tell you I want to find a woman to sleep with? That I wish I could go to the women's section of the Leather Fair all by myself?
It's good with D, shatteringly good, but I want to explore--more--and want to start talking with D about making it happen.