Sunday, September 17, 2006

A date with the Ex

So you know I was married for a long time, we were completely monogamous the whole time, and then my husband dumped me, right?
And that I meaningfully became a cheerful pervert, aka an ethical slut, and started experimenting after we broke up, yes? And that although I had sex with my ex once--okay, maybe twice--after we parted, he's basically been out of my life.
Well, today I had a date with my ex. It didn't start out as a date--he called and said he was going to be in my area for a street fair, and I happened to be home and said I'd like to go with him. So he picked me up and we spent the afternoon wandering the streets, eating, looking and talking. All that was very nice, very friendly, in truth.
But then, after he took me home and came into the house, there was a definite sexual intensity I felt from him.
He looked at me. "Plum, I have a request. Would you flash me?"
"I just want to remember....would you flash your breasts for me?"
I was shocked. I said, "You know, dude, I am definitely interested in sleeping with you, and sex with the ex is not a good idea so I am not going to do that. And I probably shouldn't show you my breasts, but if you get that this is is--what the hell."
So I turned around slightly, took off my black tshirt and my black bra, and faced him naked from the waist up, clothed only in my jeans.
He moved closer, looking intently. Lightly, he touched one breast, tracing the curve very gently.
I tried to read his eyes, imagining what he might be feeling, but had no idea.
He smiled slightly and said, "You always had the greatest breasts. These are the best."
I laughed. "I do have great breasts, thanks."
As I bent to get my clothes, he motioned to his crotch--"You want me to show you...?"
You do that and I will be sucking your cock in an instant, I thought, but I shook my head and said "No, let's not go there."
I put my clothes, then moved closer and hugged him, saying "I've learned it's possible to have close, intimate touch with people you care about without having sex--let's leave it at that."
I think he wanted to kiss me as we walked out to the car, but I didn't give him a chance.
And then, as he left, my heart exploded.
Was this basically a date with my ex? (Sure felt like it.)
Did I want to sleep with him (Yes, absolutely.)
Was I going to let that happen--absolutely not!

I treasure the idea of getting this man in the sack--his body is beautiful and I loved him for so many years. But the emotional fall out I have NO DOUBT I would experience after I slept with him would be almost as painful as getting divorced all over again--and I will go to great, great lengths to protect myself from that kind of pain.

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