Friday, July 08, 2005

My bruises

Two , no three, bruises on my inner thigh, courtsey of P pinching my leg--hard--in the car.
One is red, the other two are deep purple with a twinge of yellow.
They scare me.
This man gave me painful bruises before I even told him he could hurt me.
He gave me bruises that marked me when he supposedly didn't mean to--and when I'd told him no marks.
When we had sex, he was a gentleman and did nothing I did not agree to--
But what if he is waiting for me to agree he can hurt me more--or if he loses control and does it anyway?
Yep, this Dom is a sadist.
And I'm scared of that.
I think I need to pack it in.
And yet, the danger excites me.

Do I wait till he hurts me to acknowledge what I know is true?
Or pretend it's not true so I can push the edge?

I am unsure.

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