Sunday, July 15, 2007

Me and D

So D and I have reconnected, but in a new way. We're still close, but I am dating and seeing other people and looking for someone who can be central in my life at the same that I have also acknowledged how important I am to D--and he to me--So, we're figuring out what that means.

For D, it's hard, because he was happy the way things were--and while he agrees I need and should have this freedom, it feels like less to him.

In addition, he is both protective of me and has bad boundaries--I don't plan to tell him alot about my other relationships unless someone arises who is significant--and I am going to use this burst of freedom to experiment with people and relationships it would be hard to do with him (like a threesome, or swinging)--but I know he would like to know everything, blow by blow, if for no other reason that to not feel left out.

I have to say I don't see a bright future for us, and in some ways I think reconnecting at all is/was a mistake. But I love him and care for him and so I am going to give it a try, in this new form, and see how it all works (or doesn't) work out.

(If anyone is wondering if I hide D from other people I meet, the answer is no, but I am also clear that he is not (and no longer) the central person in my emotional and sexual life.)

1 comment:

swordfish155 said...

your last couple of posts sure do seem a long way from the beginning of this month...maybe it was the redesign of the blog, maybe it's the time of year.

glad to see you're in a much better place.