D/s Chez Z

Last night at Z's. First of all, we did not have the hot night of D/s sex I'd imagined, he was exhausted after cleaning his place up, etc. but I will talk about what we did do, and how it felt--even tho we did not do as much as I'd hoped.
R had bought me lingerie. Beautiful, sexy lingerie. He watched me try it all on for him--everything fit and everything looked great. The Chinese satin corset, in particular, sent him over the top.
"Come here and suck my cock. Get on your knees" he said, leaning back on the low-slung platform bed.
I obeyed, licking and sucking his cock, tasting the pre-cum, and making him moan as a licked his balls and took them into my mouth. As he fucked my face, he leaned over and swatted my ass with his hand and the riding crop--the pain made me feel so excited.
"Stop," he finally said, "I don't want to come."
He reached into the drawer and pull out some big ass nipple clamps--harp clamps, he said--and attached them to my nipples. Gee, they hurt, but he distracted me from the pain by taking the trapped nipples in his mouth and running his teeth over them; that balanced out the pain. A few seconds later, I was moaning...there is no doubt that pain and pleasure mingle in my brain in a way I would never have anticipated.
He bent me over and spanked me a bit more, put his fingers inside me and fingered me roughly--if you read this blog, you should not be surprised that made me go nuts.
"My pussy, mine," he said.
"Yes, yours," I replied, not letting myself say the words in my head: I want to belong to you, I want you to own me. --I just can't let myself say that outloud, not yet, just like I can't imagine calling him Sir or Master--maybe one day, or maybe not--I am loving giving this man power over me, but I am not completely comfortable with how good that feels--and I don't really understand WHY this is working out so well--and yet, am loving that it is.

(Of course, I am still waiting to be restrained, tied to the door, gagged, blindfolded, and whipped.Also waiting to be cuffed to the bed, held down, spread-eagled, with Z about to do anything he wises (and with safe words and some rocks to throw as a stop signal). I want those experiences to change me, to mark me, and to give me a chance to feel some powerful new things that will help me discover new edges in myself.)