Graydancer moves me

Here's truth plainly spoken by Graydancer that sings in my heart:
"One benefit of this breakup: I no longer have to dance around separating the fact that I was in love with both of them, separating this feeling from that feeling. I can just sit there and say yeah, for a long time, I was really lucky, and I got to love both of them. And that's the way it was."

Why is it that once we have lost everything, we can be reborn? And know our feelings for what they really are (or were?)