Here's to pretty--and genderbending

Men are supposed to be big, and strong, and tough, but no one is writing about the delightful feminine touches even a manly man can have.
I like big, strong, brawny guys, you see, but one of the things I like about them is the softness the soft flesh under their arms can have, and the smooth curves of their thighs.
I like the soft curve of their bellies and the curving flesh of their breasts, ideally a tiny bit fuller than they might like, a small reminder that men, like women, can have very sensitive breasts.
I like putting my tongue across their nipples and holding the soft flesh as my tongue flicks the pink tip, and I like rubbing their butts with my hands, warming them up nice and pink just like guys to to me.
I like men who aren't perfect, who have their own sorts of curves and who are comfortable with that (feminine) side of themselves, who moan deep in their throats with pleasure as I suck and stroke their cocks and put my mouth on their breasts.
Yes, I like pretty men--and I also like men with girly bits--men who can let me hold them down and make them scream--and then turn round and do the same thing to me.



(Note: Reading a post by MayMay about wanting to feel pretty and be a pretty man when he feels like has spurred me to write this post, above.)

Sugasm #106

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #107? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
5 Advanced Deep Throat Techniques
“Suck your man’s penis into your throat, and, while it is deep in, start to hum.”

MILF = Men I’d Like to Fuck
“He knows my body p e r f e c t l y and knows exactly how to make me squirm with pleasure and always knows the right thing to say.”

Reconciling Desire & Reality (part 2)
“The excitement of sharing her, the excitement of my arousal THEORETICALLY should mean a heightening of our own sex life.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Our fearless leader tells me he’s crazy busy so I’m presenting one from the vaults.
The Six Types of Porn Movie (and How To Get Into Them)

Editor’s Choice
Primed

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Sex News & Reviews
The End of the Mile-High Club
Fetish Film - Squealer (BSDM, Master, Shibari)
My controversial, nipple-baring Dirty Girls book cover
NEW Culture Shocking Designs!
Sex Toy Review: Mini Bullet One Touch Vibrator

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Am I born as a Whore?
Floral HNT
He’s Horny and She’s Easy
The Humble Handjob
I’ll assume i’m on the naughty list
Minus One
Obsessive Compulsive Slut
Re-discovering myself
So, doc, when can we…
Virgin Extraordinaire

Sex Poetry
Now and Zen

BDSM & Fetish
The **** machine
Erotica: Mind Games
Generic Pussy?
Get the contract signed- part two: vital lessons
Just a Few Naked Pics of Amy’s Perfect Body
Naked Service
What a Saturday
What is a Daddy Dom? Pt. 2

Sex Advice
Six ways from Sunday - Cowgirl (reversed or otherwise)

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Bad Girl
Betrayal
Dark Cold Moons
Dichotomy
Halloween
Icing on the Cake
Like Me
The Main Course
Multi-tasking
Second Time Around
Sex Party in the Hood
Stressed Wanking

Sex Humor
Fuck’n Fun
Untitled No. 1

Sex Work
Reality Check: Eating Food

NSFW Pics & Videos
Day trip to porno town
Hannah Hilton Sexy Bikini pics
Lisa wants a spanking
Sanctum
Self-portrait in Boots
A Hot Femdom / Slave Boy Strap-On Scene

Reunion with Morgan

We're at my house, and it's after dinner. We've walked, and we've talked, we've cooked, and we've eaten and now Morgan leaves the table and pats the spot beside him on the couch.

"Come sit down," he says, and nodding slightly, a little bit nervous because it's somehow gotten to be two weeks since I've seen him, and I am hoping he's going to want to touch me and to give me a chance to kiss that glorious cock. (Even tho we don't have D/s relationship, I can see the remaining traces of the sub girl inside--I don't often initiate without an invite; I have been conditioned to offer, and to ask.)

He gives me his mouth and I kiss those soft lips, our tongues exploring one anothers' mouths so passionately it makes me want to sing. And then there's the moment I move onto his lap and as he is kissing me, his hands are running over my hips, stroking my butt, my breasts. And then there's how I am grinding against his cock, feeling it growing hard through the think fabric of his pants, feeling his nipple stiffen beneath my hand as I brush my fingers against it, feel my own excitement build.

"Take off your shirt," he says in a deep growly voice, and I look sideways at him.

"Can I take off all my clothes? (Daddy, I almost add)."

"Yes," he says and pulls me back on top of him, his fingers digging into my hips, digging down into the crack of my ass, teasing inside my thighs and the swell of my hips as we kiss and kiss. feeling one another's nipples stiffening through the thin cloth of his shirt.

And then he says it, "How'd you like my big cock in your ass? I want to fuck that tight little asshole," and there's a growl in his voice that makes me want him big cock shoving inside me right now, no matter how much it might (at first) hurt," so I have to say yes, and it's yes that's on my lips as we join hands and go into the bedroom where I know he is going to fuck me silly after two weeks apart, and I just can't wait for it to happen.

Morgan is amazing, he knows how to touch me in all these good ways, how to make me so hot that by the time his hands are rubbing my butt I'm asking for it, and by the time his fingers are in my hole, I'm wiggling so he can get more deeply inside.

"Lube?" he asks, and I practically lunge for it, slathering the massage oil across my butt so he'll have no trouble navigating inside.

And then there's that moment when he's ever so delicately putting his cock inside me, and the amazingly indelicate moment where he shoves the rest of it right in, and the gasping pleasure he feels and the sensation of being so full that make me just nuts, and soon we are moving together as his big cock fucks my tight little asshole and it's so good, it really is, and as I think about Morgan waiting for me, watching porn and planning this, I get excited I start to come and that's the moment when he growls "Now take your thumb and touch your clit."\

As I grind me into me, and feel Morgan slamming into me from behind, I get so excited I come and come, practically howling with the heat of it all, and I know my ass is so tight I am going to wring him dry, that his orgasm is going to be an explosion like fireworks, bells going off in the dead of night, a city colonized with an ocean of come, his cries like music to my ears as our bodies move together, bound so tight until the moment we have to let go and what went in, has to, ever so sadly and gently, come out.

In bed with bear

We're in the hotel room, our bodies glowing on the white cotton sheets, Bear so dark, and me so white. He's above me, holding my hands, his mouth on the pink tip of my breast, his long thighs stretched out against my legs, and I open my thighs wide to take him so deep, his cock plunging straight down into me like a pipe in a well, everything so neatly fitted. I know my mouth is open and my eyes glazed as he come inside me over and over, and the feeling of him is so golden, filled with so much pleasure and sweetness, I imagine myself breaking apart.

And then there's the moment where I start coming over and over, gasping for breath as the orgasms hit, and how his cock inside my pussy makes me so wet, I come and come as he's inside me, and he mutters low, in my ear, "That's right, slut, come on my cock. Come on my cock like the hot little slut you are," and those words make me so excited, so eager to comply, I come some more, again and again, and to my surprise I am squirting again, and it's just seconds later, and I am so excited I just never want him to stop, except that what I really want is to squeeze him so hard, to give him so much pleasure, that his body explodes, right at the center of the universe that is my heart, my cunt.

15 ways of looking at a blackbird (erotica version)

There are so many ways to talk about the time that I spent with Bear this week, I can't just pick one. Instead, let me share some flashes of our precious 12 hours with you like facets of a crystal--or a Wallace Stevens poem.

Sex. Touch. Passion, Imagine making love with someone you haven't seen where it's better than you remembered. In fact, it's amazing. Imagine being so aroused, so wet, that having your lover's cock inside you feels like honey, like molten gold. Imagine the feeling that your bodies were made to be together, that somehow the parts just fit and that in fitting together you were not only reconnecting, but you had to do it, again and again.

Caring. Humor, Friendship. Imagine walking and talking together, a dinner made easy by laughter and sharing. Common insights, warmth, so much to share and say. Listening. Understanding. Alone once again in a city neither of us lived in, Bear and I had what can be only be described as flow, the natural harmony of two people in the zone.

Age. Race. Ethnicity. Class. Did I mention before that I am almost twice Bear's age? Or that while we come from not that dissimilar backgrounds, our color, class, and ethnic identifications are quite dissimilar? And did I mention I am almost twice Bear's ago? Whatever differences are between us, the connection is real--and magic.

Understanding. Acceptance. Love. The first nightI spent with Bear, almost two years ago, the thought went through my mind, "I love this person." Now, in the third winter of our friendship, I know it's true. I love Bear--he's someone the Net brought to me, someone with whom I was pulled together, across all sorts of time and space, to become this very real, very tangible friend--a gift that's very special to me. We have what we have--and it's all good--an amazing present.

Bad girl in a good place--all without words

It was great to meet this cool friend of a friend the other night and feel the energy flow. And it was even more amusing to not only let the heat rise, but to turn our mutual turn-on into the grown-up version of a junior high-group grope.

Imagine: His hand on my arm, my hand on his thigh as we talk.
Then, his arm around my waist, my body leaning into him.
Soon, his hand on my throat, my tongue grazing the cleft of his ear, his low intake of breath.
Then, his lips on my mouth, tongue flicking inside, the sudden pull of his hand on my hair.

Energy. Heat. Curiosity. Desire.

--And a full-blown surprise for the friends watching in bemusement as discovery turned to touch and the heat rose between us, all without words, the crowd flowing around us as we touched.

Lux Nightmare: Wonderful reading on YouTube

Just came across Lux Nightmare's reading from In the Flesh in NYC this past week.

Wow. Lux's story is about piercing, BDSM, energy exchange, love and feeling--As a piece of writing, it is a amzing; as a set of feelings, I relate to it ore as her personal expression than something I feel in the same way--but that makes it no less beautiful.

YouTube link here.

Sugasm #105

This Week’s Picks
Bonbon
“I feel him start; then he groans into my mouth, a deep helpless sound, and I know I’ve got him.”

Domme virginity lost
I’m not asking you. I’m telling you. You know that, don’t you, sweet boy?”

Reality Check: Lessons Learned From Clients
“From my conversations I’ve learned a number of things that have helped me, educated me and surprised me.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Belladonna Likes Heroin

Editor’s Choice
Each Mirror has two sides

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

Expanding, consciousness

In the past six months, my consciousness about sex, gender and identity has started to expand and it's amazing, perhaps as amazing as connecting with my submissive side and deciding to be a slut. But now I feel like there is so much I want to explore--and write about--that may not fit in this basically erotic blog, and i have to decide what to do about that.

What do I want to explore?

All the layers of sexuality, identity and choice that bisexuality seems capable of embodying, for one thing, and how gender politics fits into things--I want to understand all this better on both a personal and a political/systemic level--and geeze, I have so much to learn.

I need to decide if these entries can fit into this blog, or if they better belong elsewhere. I love writing erotica, and love the stories Plum tells here, but there's alot of growth and consideration going on that also needs voice--I'm just not sure where to put it all.

Sex Party in the Hood

We're in a town maybe 20 miles from home, in a set of suites at a commuter hotel, and it's Saturday night and the crowd is dribbling in. Women with big weaves, men in dark pants and knit shirts, the crowd is mostly black, with a sprinkling of others thrown in. Our hosts are Marvin and LaTisha, husband and wife, partners in crime, and purveyors of Saturday Night Roxx, the BBW-friendly, all shapes, all sizes swinger's party Morgan and I are going to.

You'd never know from the crowd around the punch bowl that these folks are all here to get laid in front of one another, to give and receive from people they've probably never met--or only see here. There's Julio from Chile, who travels through the area two weeks a month, and Mark, who has a small child to care for at home, and Lucinda and Mary, demure as can be, who tell me this is their second party and yeah, they had a great time.

No one here is here for a date, I think, they're all here for sex, to get touched, hugged, licked and fucked. It's quite the thought--and then I realize that they are thinking the same thing about me--that even though I am here with a man, there is definitely something I am either wanting to give--or get--that ain't happening at home.

We hang and we chat, drinking water by the punch bowl. People flit in and out of the bedrooms, there's murmurs and noise, and after a while Morgan tugs my hand and says, "Let's go see."

In the back room, on the big bed, there's a woman and a man, and another couple beside them, all tangled together in the almost dark. We stand by the bed as one man eats out a woman's pussy as another plays with her breasts, and then there's the couple right in front of me, fucking and sucking hard and loud.

Morgan says "Take off your dress," and I nod and strip, pulling off the black dress, the high heels, the fishnets, but leaving the black lace demi-bra and panties on. And then he's pushed me down on the bed, down beside the other couples, and it's his hands reaching into my panties to stroke my cunt, pushing the lace aside so his big fingers can enter, kissing and licking my clit, hard, as he shoves more and more fingers inside me, so much intensity and pleasurable pain that I arc against the bed, gasping, eyes shut, imagining without seeing the men standing by the side of the bed, dicks in their hands, watching us go to town.

And then there's the moment when I am sucking his cock, deep as I can, and another mans's hand is touching my breasts, and the moment when I have some stranger's cock in my fist, one I've never seen before tho I am being so very nice to it, but then when the stranger indicates he wants to put it in my mouth, I shake my head and say "No penetration, no fluids," and that's it, touching is all he gets.

And soon we're together on the bed, and Morgan is fucking me, hard and deep, and it feels so good of course, the beast with two backs in front of all these people. But then he withdraws, he stops, and I turn and there's this adorable black man, built like a house, with a kind face, and his cock is right in front of me and damn! it loks good. We play for a bit, and then he says, so seriously, "Can I fuck you?"

And I nod yes, and help him put the condom on, and it's doggy style, like I like it. His cock is thick and long as he shoves it into me, thick and long and hard as he fucks me so hard I buck on the bed, so hard I wonder if I can take all of it it. And then we're fucking and it feels so good, and I am gasping and everyone is watching, but he's too young to realize that I am getting dry and maybe a little lube is in order and I am too shy to say anything, so after I while I just say I want to stop--

--And that is the moment I realize that there are all these men with dicks in their hands standing around the bed, and that Julio and Mark and the others all want to be next,all hope I will just fuck the whole room, one by one, or at least not stop till I finished with them, and that thought freaks me out so much I have to get up off that bed and put most of my clothes on and head into the other room with Morgan where we find a cute girl I spank a little bit but mostly that's it for the night.

"That party was too much about getting fucked," I tell him on the way home. "I definitely got to live out some fantasies, but it seemed like it was a lot about male dick, about paying to get off with someone who wasn't a whore, and that made it less good for me."

Morgan ponders. "I think you can make it anything you want," he says. "Next time you could go there and say you and you and you, and that would be it."

I nod, I consider that, but I know the next time I want to try a sex party--my #2--it will probably be a different one.

Morgan in the morning

He's asleep, sprawled across my bed, legs filling up most of the space, arms hugging the pillow shoved over his eyes.

It's 8 am and I've been awake for a while, we've made love and he's passed out on the pillows, claiming that one last drop of sleep before the day hits.

What is it about this person that takes hold and grabs my heart?

There are moments I appreciate the freedom between us--and then moments I want to hold him and not ever let go.



(And yes, M, I know you are reading this.)

Men are dogs: a fantasy

The nights he's not with me, he's watching porn, lying back in that big bed, those thick hands holding that big cock, stroking it intently as he watches the screen.

There are two women there, taking a walk in the late fall day, one a trim, compact blonde, the other a taller brunette, both looking like, if they took off their clothes, you'd see a track marks and bruises. Pretty, but on the way to being used up.

But the women aren't what interests him. Neither is the director, Slovak or Czech, who's perched just at the edge of the frame, mostly out of camera, his low voice barely audible as the girls' boots crunch the leaves.

His eyes are on the big dog the taller girl walks, the long, rangy Great Dane, his ears cropped high, his flanks a steely gray, who walks placidly beside them. Like two girls in a fairly tale, they walk down the road and deep into the woods, to a leafy clearing where a nest of blankets and throws has been made, a secret place where this movie really opens.

He watches as the blonde girl takes off her clothes and lies down on the blanket, her small breasts raspberry-tipped cones, and as the taller girl kneels down beside the dog, one hand stroking and petting his back, the other reaching down to squeeze his cock, petting and stroking until the dog's flanks start to shiver.

And then there is that moment when the blonde girl bounds up, naked, and holds the dog, and the moment when the taller girl kneels down and takes the dog's cock in her mouth. And then there's the scene where they're both holding and touching him, his cock pulled out and behind his body, impossibly grey-red and long, a glistening bullet-headed tip growing longer and longer.

And his hands go to his cock and his mouth parts and he is breathing hard because he knows what is coming next, the moments that really turn him on, when the blonde girl gets down on all fours and the tall one fits the dog's dick inside her cunt and the dog starts to hump her, harder and harder, fucking the bitch who's a girl shoving her ass at the camera, her partner holding the big dog steady, the animal noises and cries of encouragement rising from both of them, the dog fucking her hard, for minutes, for what treat I can't imagine, but pumping his cock deep into her pussy, the dog knot driving down from the base and right into her cunt.

His face contorts, he's getting off on this, the orgasm about to hit as he connects with the beast within himself, the dog he is, the blind fucking machine ready to shove blindly into anything that moves, any soft object, hot, wet energy always ready to be shoved and pushed, a dog climbing onto any bitch he chooses, any desperate director's crack whore eager and willing and unable (afraid) to refuse.

The cum sprays his belly, the flannel sheets on his bed. He moves a hand, scoops it, up, licks it. And clicks a button, then watches again, And again. And again.

Dinner and dessert

Tomorrow night I am having the long-anticipated dinner with Joannie and Neil, the couple who propositioned me back in the summer. I am going to practice safe sex, but abandon all caution, and I think it will be amazing fun.

Welcome, Fleshbot folks!

Hey there--come and enjoy my stories. Some recent ones:

Hot, banging sex--with my hand
Clothespinned in the dungeon
Walking naked and Collared with Andre
A date with the new dom
Grinding it

Some older ones:
Breath Play
Hood, blindfold, collar, leash,you
With Z, touch of his hand on my throat

Spanking the Boy..and then some

He was maybe 35, long lustrous hair, cut to the neck, nice body, friend of a friend and someone else out in the woods for the weekend. Oh, and did I mention that it was the cute little plaid skirt, cut to there, and the long white knee socks he wore that totally got my attention?

Yep, Jeannie was a cross-dresser.

We ended up, during one of the talks, cuddling a bit more closely than friends, and the way his fingers traced a line down my breasts, it was clear he was willing to be good friends, and turned on by a guy in knee socks, a skirt, shaped eyebrows and a cool good ring in one ear, why would I say no?

We ended up in the back room at the place, door shut, exploring one another as everyone else discussed whether to take off their clothes and practice CPR (okay, it was actually orgasmic deep breathing). I found out the Boy, as I like to call him, has this little submissive streak and that because of his love of being dominated and spanking, I was going to get a chance to switch

But of course I didn't know that when we started. I only knew that he wanted to kiss me and touch my breasts and that, when I offered to spank him, he said yes. So then there was the moment I put him across my knee on the bed. And the way I lifted up the little skirt to rub his sweet, hairless ass and swat him with my hand, again and again. And soon the skirt was off, and he was face down on the bed, ass in the air, and I was spanking that sweet air, my hand coming down on the space between the butt and the thigh over and over again, rubbing and kneading his butt as I spanked it hard with one hand.

And then there was the way he went right into subspace, the little cries and moans he made that turned me on just so much, and the way he moaned when I took my fingers and rubbed them across his nipples and took the little delicate pink tip in my mouth, that tiny nib, and bit it, almost hard. And then there was the sound of spanking, and the cries and moans we made, and my knowing that the people in the other room had no idea who was spanking whom.

Can you believe I almost don't remember what the Boy did to me, just that it all felt amazingly good? And that when we took a deep breath and hugged and kissed and went outside, our lovers were lying naked beside one another?

"Faun says I'm too big to fit inside her," Morgan said, and Faun smiled prettily and reached for the Boy. And then there was the moment when I was bending over Morgan, astride his thighs as I obligingly fitted his big thick cock into my cunt, and the moment when I say the Boy bury himself inside Faun and start fucking her hard, just like a bunny rabbit machine, and the moment when I bounced atop Morgan, my big tits bouncing as I felt him pushing right up against my g-spot from the inside, and the idea that this was the first time I was having vigorous, athletic sex in front of anyone else, with the lights on, and with the whole room watching as fucking Morgan made me come over and over, as watching Boy drive himself joyfully and estastically into Faun thrilled me with erotic abandon.

And it was yes, oh yes, and yes again, Molly Bloom for sure as Swordfish says, and Jack Kerouac and angel headed Allen Ginsberg hipsters and the feeling I was in the right place and would keep coming back for more and more and more.

This post rocks!

"I have found that it is much easier to come out as gay than it is to come out as poly.
I am not completely out at work as I was when I lived as a lesbian. There are three people that know about my poly life at work and it took a long, long time for me to discover if I could bring it up. My Mom and sister know about me being poly, but not too many other family members. When I was living as a lesbian, everyone knew. My dad, my bosses, my co-workers, my everybody who came into contact with me knew."

---i, A Poly page for secondaries

Fucking Morgan

We were in bed together at his place. I was lying on my side against his broad thighs, his cock in my mouth, sucking hard as he fucked my face. Wet, throbbing cock pushing into the back of my throat, pushing the air right out of the way, his hips moving as he sought to shove more and ever more of that big thick cock right down my throat, filling it up so I could hardly breathe.

I sucked and sucked till the saliva ran in ribbony threads down the sides of my mouth, till my mouth was so wet I could lather his cock with wet spit, spit so thick it was almost white, as if my mouth had started to cum.

As hard as he was and as big, my sucking made him greedy and with a motion he moved me on top of him. I put that big thick cock in my cunt, knowing without checking that I'd be wet, that all that face fucking and his hand on the back of my neck would have opened my body for him.

And then there was that look on his face, the look of greedy joy I feared and loved, the intent pleasure-seeking concentration I felt so possessed by, and there was the way I wanted to see him feel more of that, to know that I made him feel that way, to feel like his spirit throbbed as he tried as hard as he could to show every bit ohis cock right up into me and then out again, so he could keep feeling me squeeze and rub the tip with the tight muscles of my cunt.

Back and forth we rocked, in and out, for what seemed like a long time, over and over. It was so good, and I cried out, savoring him, but he didn't come. Instead he looked up at me with wicked, sideways smile that was almost a sneer and said "I want my cock in your tight little hole. I want my cock in your ass."

"We could do that, " I said, and then we were doing it, his practiced hands opening me up, making me wet so that big cock could follow, could slide all the way in and find space to move, even as I gripped him tight as anything.

It hurt like a motherfucker as he pushed his way it. It hurt, but I wanted it. A pain I hoped would soon turn to pleasure. He smiled with joy as my tight asshole closed around the head of his cock, as I pumped up and down, working him into me, making myself loose and wet enough to truly fuck, to give him what he wanted and not have it hurt too much.

Up and down we moved, in rhythm, my body balanced over his as he fucked my ass, over and over, an amazing rhythm, an amazing thing, for us to touch in this way, to give one another so much pleasure. "Oh, oh," I cried out, and later, he cried out, too. And then there was the way I pinched his nipple with my thumb, and how I took it in my mouth and pressed it with my teeth at the same time I could feel him gather himself up and just explode.

And damn, it was good.

Life is opening wide

Life is opening wide right now! Morgan and I are getting along really well, and planning some interesting adventures. And I'm feeling very empowered and rich around my sexuality and doing some more exploring.

Ideas that are interesting

• A woman
• A woman who's into BDSM
• Being more of a switch
• Multiples
• Finding someone to play with here BDSM isn't the center of my relationship-it's more occasional and fun
• Topping Morgan if he'll agree

Mmmmnnn. It's Fall and I am falling.

Updates and then some

I am having a delicious time with Morgan. We have a wonderful heart connection and he's adventurous in a way that makes my toes curl. We have compatible sexual styles, overlapping taste in porn, and a share talent for making trouble--which, I think, we haven't actually kicked into gear yet. It's all good.

At the same time, I am still seeing--and sleeping with D. For some reason, this man and I have the kind of chemistry that turns me into a wet puddle in about 10 seconds, and it sis sweet.

And then there's Mark & Martha, the married couple I know who each want to have a relationship with me (yikes), and the two poly bi BSDM women I am interested in meeting.

Fun.

BDSM LOL Cats make me smile

(Via A Bad Man in a Bad Place)

Now this is SOOOO Hot

What can I say? I love techno and big tools so this music video is the sheetz.

I just crossed a line...and I am GLAD about it

I can't believe I just did what I just did. And that I feel so good about it.
Here's the deal: This weekend, at a workshop, I felt myself drawn to one of the participants. I avoided meeting him, because I pegged him as a really, really smart, smart-ass, libertarian, (maybe pagan) BDSM Dom(yes, I have a couple of types and that is one of them...).

By the last day of the workshop, when we had not met, I decided to let myself meet him. We spent some time together in the sessions, and I found him interesting. I had a good time seeing if I could signal to him, without saying a word, that I both got who he was (or who I imagined he might be, to be more accurate) and that I was a submissive(this was not a BDSM community space) and on the way to being a switch.

Whatever happened, he gave me his card before I left and viewing the card and then reading more about him online confimed this is someone I would like to know. So I emailed him. And then emailed him again. Emailed him in a way where it was pretty clear what my private self was about.

Given that I am having such a wonderful time with Morgan, this seems questionable. And yet, Morgan is both a pervert and a switch and we are both poly. And I would like to get to know this man and see what's there before self-limiting.

This is braver public behavior than I have had in the past--and a good thing. (I am goin g to wait to see if there is any interest/response before telling Morgan about this, but I think he would be very interested, which thrills me.)

And of course the idea of someone who I might like who is into BDSM and rope and power exchange completely engages my attention.

Sugasm #93

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #94? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #94? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Between Baths
“His tongue licks along the edge of my thong and then slips underneath, and then he pulls the material aside so he can get to me.”

Fantasy Vs. Reality: What Is Cheating?
“Paid escort work is fantasy; dating me is reality.”

How To Set Up an MFM Threesome
“You’d be surprised how many guys will say they can’t wait to bed her down, then chicken out or not show up after you’ve shelled out money for a hotel room.”

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Neal Mather Fetish Figurenes

Editor’s Choice
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Erotic Writing and Experiences
And the answer is
Christening The Bed
Episode One
Sally & Bill
Stop

Sex Audio & Podcasts
Almost Perfect
Nobilis Erotica 30-Woman of the Mountain

NSFW Pics & Videos
Bree olsen episode 1
Catalina loves Guest HNT Posts!
Georgi (I Shot Myself)
Half-Nekkid at the BBQ
I Feel Myself
Photo of the Moment: Curvy Girls
Sexy DJane Jesse Capelli
Sexy showgirl upskirt pinup photo
Tits for the Troops #5

Sex Work
Breakdown Of A Quickie
Objectify Me

BDSM & Fetish
Calling All film slaves in the New York/New Jersey area!!!
Friday night
Fucked to bits
Happy HNT - A switching in the old abandoned cabin
Let’s give the boy a hand! - Part Two of Text Message Mayhem
An Ode to Bondage
Playing with Morgan
Showerland
Social Kink Interviews The Knotty Boys (Shibari, Bondage)
Sweet Possession
Trembling, redux

Sex News & Reviews
Aneros Progasm Prostate Massager Review

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Did you have sex?
Half-Nekkid and Openly Bisexual
Keeping Secrets
Love Sick
Mirror, Mirror
More On Cougars - Older Men, Younger Women, Mistresses and Married Men
Playing with my Barbie
Skanky Panties & The Business of Faux Fish Juices

Question for Morgan

You throw me down on my back and flip me over the edge of the bed.
Your cock goes down my throat till I worry I might gag on it and your hands pinch and slap my breasts.
Did you put your mouth on my clit, your teeth on my lips, your tongue inside me then?
Or was that earlier, when you murmured "Goddess" and ate me till I screamed?

opened and used without a word being said

It's night-time, late and I am in the big bed, the red and green blankets pulled to my throat, the cat settled in at the food of the bed. I'm on my side, my wet fingers rubbing the soft skin around my clit, my other hand teasing the vibrator at the edge of my cunt, and as I press the soft buzzing tip against the warm flesh I close my eyes and think of you:

Morning, the light grey, both of us sleeping on our sides.

I wake because you are touching me, your big legs pressed against my hips, your cock pushed into the curve of my ass so my hips fit right into your thighs. You arch your body against me and I feel your cock start to stiffen, growing hard, moving from a soft snail to a fleshy club, and you angle yourself in between the cheeks of my ass and start to rock, rubbing yourself against the skin, not a word spoken between us, not a whisper or a sigh.

Your hand holds my hip, pinning me where you want me, angling my body at just the right edge. I hear your open your mouth and know you are licking your hand, making it wet, and know that had it going to end up moistening me, creating an entry way for your body in mine.

Slowly, with great care, your fingers work the puckered tight flesh till they push their way inside. Slowly, with great care, you touch and rub and make things wet till the moment you can push yourself inside me, inserting your big tip with the greatest of care, following deeper with a rush that makes me pant and sigh.

Do you know how wet it makes me to remember how we rocked together, your cock in my ass? Do you remember my sighs of pleasure as you plunged so deep, so tight, then came out right to the edge, only to plummet down deep again?

Your moans as your cock rubbed its sensitive spots inside my tightness.
My whisper "You own all my holes."
The pleasure of us coming together, of how good it felt to have you so deep inside me, joined so near the heart.
The pleasure of the morning, of being awakened, of being opened and used without a word being said, the pleasure of you in me

I come and come and come again.

It's wet, and strong, and good--but it's not you, it's only a recovered memory of what I felt when we touched.

Playing with Morgan

My new boyfriend Morgan could be described as a switch, a big, bi-sexual, poly bear, a Daddy type guy with a wicked sense of play. He's almost twice my weight and way bigger than my height, and he knows how to throw me around in a way that feels so good--and how to pin me down and spank me and slap me and pull my hair as I suck his cock so that it feels thrillingly delicious.

One of the cool things about Morgan is that he also likes anal play. It's just seconds from my g-spot to my butt with a (big, thick) thumb, and he's had me panting and slobbering a few times now. But even better, I got to experiment with giving him a prostate massage as we made love, and was instructed on how to put my finger up his butt as he gave himself a hand job (I hope these details are interesting, and not grossing anyone out.) I'm imagining that I am going to learn more about how to lick him *down there* and I've added a dildo and a butt plug to my toy bag that I am hoping he'll let me try-and like.

Morgan is so good at pressing his weight against me in a way that makes me feel totally dominated and used. He's a master at pulling my legs over my head, shoving his thick meaty cock into my wet cunt and then banging himself against me, over and over, till the feel of the big head of his cock wedged deep inside my cunt makes me want to burst. His ability to thrust into me, then come all the way out, then shove himself in, and do it again, over and over, makes each of us pant and moan with pleasure.

The last time we made love, he threw me on my back, pressed my legs up over my shoulders, and shoved his cock so far inside me I thought I might break. After he fucked me for a while, he grabbed my legs and threw me further down on the bed and shoved a pillow under my hips, turning my bottom almost straight up.

"Next time, I'm going to use your pretty little asshole," he hissed, and the combination of those words, his hand on my throat, his big cock and his weight pressing down on me put me right over the edge.

"Oh, oh, oh!" I like to make noise as I'm feeling it, and if I'd had half my brain left, I've felt sorry for the neighbors on the other side of the wall and across the way as he penetrated me (yes, I was that loud).

Given that I was lost in a sex-crazed frenzy, it was more about how he fucked me till I came a half a dozen times and how then he dragged me up on top of his big, broad body and I rode him till he came, biting and licking and teasing his nipples like I was the baby Domme suckling her prey.

And then when it was all over, and we'd both come, both been spent, there was that feeling of lying there together, connected so intensely by the force of what we'd shared, the intimacy of taking one another to a place where there were no words and no need to use them.

Angelia Jolie rocks!

“I’ve never hidden my bisexuality. But since I’ve been with Brad, there’s no longer a place for that or S&M in my life.”

--Angelia Jolie, spealing her truth to a French magazine, quoted in The Sun, UK. (Wow!)

Earlbecke: I am Not Damaged

This post by earlebecke caught my attention when I stumbled across it:

"I am not damaged. I am not queer because of abuse. I am not submissive because of abuse. I have been both queer and submissive my entire life. I can recall having both of these desires from an incredibly young age: an unusual attachment to female friends and a near total absence of crushes on male peers, and a persistent desire to be “owned”, an eagerness to please and take care of everybody in my life. These are the things which fulfill me. These are the things that I need to be happy."

I can never leave you

You touch me
and I am so wet
so hungry
You drive your hard cock in
and my pussy grips you--tight

Back and forth we go
a magic circle
an electric pleasure ride
of moans and yelps and sighs

the pleasure building
like it always does
as you fuck me from behind

and then there's that thought in my head
I can never leave you
not when the fucking is so good

Opening, Night

It's late at night, or early in the morning, and I wake because your hands are on me. You're all over my body, hands roaming, fingers tweaking my nipples and stroking my breasts, strong fingers parting my lips and pushing, gently, inside.

I like the feeling of waking up and opening to you, knowing, because it is you, there is no need to hold back, no need to cover and hide. There is only the gift of offering myself, of your hands and my body, the bridge we form together that takes us to a new place.

In the dark, your hands open and push me wide. Your fingers rub and touch until my pussy is wet, until there's a river of warmth running down my thighs, a gush I didn't anticipate and can't control, squirting shows how wet I am for you, how much I want what you offer, how turned on and hungry your touch makes my body.

As you hover above me, I know you smile. I know you smile as you plunge your cock right in, hard and thick and just as hungry, desperate for the pleasure ride, that feeling of my cunt gripping you so tight, even as I gush and gush.

It's so good to feel us together, so good to be so wet, so good to have you inside.

Magic, again (taking a pass)

Magic was here last night, charming and smart and friendly.
Only when he kissed me and when we made out on the couch, his energy was...dark.

Under the smiling exterior, my friend Magic was a dark animal, all snarling fangs and claws and teeth, teeth he carefully controlled so as not to scare away the lovely maiden, the maiden unrestrained by cuffs or rope.

A biter. Fierce. Maybe even possessed by an animalistic fantasy.

His mouth, his hands and teeth on my body felt good, I moaned when he tugged at my lips and my clit, but I was scared.

There is no way I could ever let that dark energy inside me, ever let that animal force come close enough to risk he'd tear me apart,

Magic, I am going to tell you no thanks, this girl is taking a pass.

Morgan, again

Did I say how thick and long his cock is, and how I'm entranced by that fleshy tip?
And how he smiles in a way that makes my heart spin?
And how the poetry he quotes is so beautiful and seductive?

We make beautiful love.
And then I realize he's holding off on deciding what it all means.
I don't match his model of what a life partner should be, you see.
I run the risk of being dismissed for not being quite what he wants.
Guess he runs that same risk.

I am feeling scared because I could fall in love with this man,
And he could hurt me.
And there's no way to play it but straight.

Magic is Magic

So I saw Magic last night and we walked and talked.

He's interesting...maybe not as kinky as I'd thought (hoped?) but with a questioning heart and a taste for spanking, rope, and adventure.

We've been very hands off, but I liked the way he pulled me to him when we kissed, his hands on my back, my breast.

And yet I am not sure we'll really mesh...still exploring and finding out.

Sex and me

I thinmk I just decided that this moment is about dating and having fun and that I should sleep with whomever I want to and gather ye roses while ye may.

I'm heartened by this chance to see multiple people (still selective) and be a slut.

Onward!

Me and D

So D and I have reconnected, but in a new way. We're still close, but I am dating and seeing other people and looking for someone who can be central in my life at the same that I have also acknowledged how important I am to D--and he to me--So, we're figuring out what that means.

For D, it's hard, because he was happy the way things were--and while he agrees I need and should have this freedom, it feels like less to him.

In addition, he is both protective of me and has bad boundaries--I don't plan to tell him alot about my other relationships unless someone arises who is significant--and I am going to use this burst of freedom to experiment with people and relationships it would be hard to do with him (like a threesome, or swinging)--but I know he would like to know everything, blow by blow, if for no other reason that to not feel left out.

I have to say I don't see a bright future for us, and in some ways I think reconnecting at all is/was a mistake. But I love him and care for him and so I am going to give it a try, in this new form, and see how it all works (or doesn't) work out.

(If anyone is wondering if I hide D from other people I meet, the answer is no, but I am also clear that he is not (and no longer) the central person in my emotional and sexual life.)

Heading for a threesome

So I was out last night with a bevvy of friends and lovers, and everyone thought I looked really hot--it was a gratifying experience to recognize I was one of the hottest women at the party, and that men--and women--were attracted by my energy and how I look (not to mention my cleavage). That was fun.

But it was even more fun to see Terry, a friend who's always touchy-cuddly with me, and his wife Rhea, who I've known and liked for a year. They've always been people who give me this little sexual frisson--her cat-like eyes and greedy wide smile, his Buddha smile and (respectfully )lacivious eyes and hands.

After fun and cuddling, toward the end of the night, Terry snuggled up close to me. "I spoke with Rhea and we agreed to ask you 'What offer could we make to interest you in spending intimate time with me--with Rhea included?'"

I know my grin grew really wide as I laughed with delight. "Terry, you don't have to entice me--I have been thinking about the same thing--for a while! I am totally interested!" (I didn't mention at that moment that this would be my first threesome--but I bet they know it.)

"Yeah, Rhea and I were talking about it, and we thought that might be the case." He smiled and moved slightly against me. "Look how hard my cock is getting just thinking about it."

I laughed, we hugged and we discussed some of the logistics for later, aka when this might happen.

Later, right before I left for home, I went and hugged Rhea. "Your husband propositioned me," I said.

"Yes, I know, he asked me first."

"And I told him I was totally up for being with the two of you--that would be nice." (Much hugging and giggles.)

So I am going to get to have that threesome I wanted, with two people I like and trust, both of whom are no slouches in the sensuality department, and I think it's goin to be somewhere between mind-blowing and really fun.

Wow! (The thought crosses my mind this could also be anything from one time fun, to loving friendship to--hey!--a triad--but I am going to stay anchored in the present and just think about the first time...that's enough.

(And of course, the thought crosses my mind that if I get caught up with Magic, the promising Dom, these kinds of plays will either be forbidden (ugh) or would have to be kept secret (that's just not me)--so more to think about as I proceed down the course (life course, that is.)

5 fingers and Morgan

The other part of the story is the five fingers Morgan puts inside me as he licks my clit, the way his teeth tug and his mouth kisses and the deep furrow his brow makes as he focuses on making me come and come.

The other part of the story is how he wasn't on the list, wasn't the one I was thinking about, but now I'm heading straight into what's going to be a classic choice between two lifestyles: a gender-bending poly slut and a really interesting but probably very possessive Dom.

But right now that's all far away, because it's me and Morgan on my bed, and it's Morgan's face down between my legs, and Morgan's teeth nibbling on his lips and his hand pushing so hard, filling me up in a way that makes me just want to burst, and then it's the two of us cuddling and talking and the happiness that fills my heart and the small smile at the corner of his mouth that makes me wonder if I should let myself love him.

Sucked

His cock is long and thick, fleshy at the tip, and as he gets hard it seems to grow bigger and bigger, some exploding plastic dirigible of a dick.

I want to take it all into my mouth and feel the tip push against the back of my throat, I want him to shove inside until I drool and choke, and it's good he knows I want exactly that and that he reaches down and grabs a hold of my hair and presses his pelvis into my face, it's good he wraps a leg around my throat and throws his hips half over my body (after making sure I have a free hand to push him away if I need to breathe), and it's especially good when I feel him start to explode, his dick farther down my throat than anyone's ever been, the orgasm starting to build in a way that makes me just want to swallow him.

And then it's fireworks and rockets and a faintly bitter taste in my mouth and my drooling semen and his hips rocking as he comes and comes, away in another place now, and yet completely here with me, sucked off by my pussy mouth.

Ladies and gentleman meet Morgan, a very special new friend.

More on Magic

Magic and I are exchanging emails about who we are and what we want that are tugging at my heart.

The through review he is giving the things I tell him, and the thought and honest communication he is giving me, are pulling me toward him and opening my heart.

It has been a long time, I recognize, since a man asked, or implied he wanted, the kind of scrupulous self-examination writing back and forth with Magic seems to entail; my sense is that if we talk long enough, we will peel ourselves back, like onions, right to the heart.

I have three men I am dealing with: my loving friend, a man I have not met yet but will see next week, and my friend/former lover D. Of all of them, Magic seems like someone who could go the deepest toward my heart, but I don't really know him well enough to be sure, and I'm not going to rush finding out.

Whatever happens, I feel like our interchange is honest and powerful and I appreciate his triggering that.

Sugasm #87

Delayed--but still all good reads.

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants.

Want in Sugasm #88? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form.

Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

The Other Night that I Was Waiting For“We could have an entire relationship without ever leaving this spot.”
In the Beginning“The actual piercing was exquisite – one fraction of a second of pain, followed by a feeling of pleasure like I have never experienced.”
A modern romance or just wanking off in front of the computer screen?“And then there are some people you want in your bed. ”

Mr. Sugasm Himself --The Torture Porn Debate
Editor’s Choice --Never say never

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10 phrases submissives love to hear

• Take off your blouse.
• Show me your breasts.
• Come here.
• Suck my cock.
• Deeper.
• Bend over.
• Give me your ass.
• You are a slut.
• Do you like that?
• This is mine.

(Inspired by confessions of an english gentleman)

Man talk--and Magic

So I am doing the more casual dating thing. It means less sex, and no BDSM, but it also means a chance to explore new opportunities without partners to alienate or consult.

There's Brian, the loving friend, who is coming over again this weekend, and D, my old partner, with whom I'm close--but in a completely different way--and then there's this man Magic, who I've just met, but who seems like he could be powerfully significant in my life--I hardly know him, but I'm highly intrigued by what I've learned to date, and have lots of vague impressions and questions.

Magic is kinky, a Dom, and into rope--and I suspect--discipline. Since I did not meet him through the local BDSM community, I have no idea how experienced he is, or how cruel, but my gut tell me his house has a dungeon--and I have this idea that he may also read (sex) blogs. We're at the stage where we're still figuring out the basic things--like could we enjoy having a conversation for more than 15 minutes--and how do our attitudes and values mesh (and we haven't even made it to sense of humor yet), and yet I suspect he is a passionate and demanding Master, and someone who is not casual about D/s at all.

Of course, the combination of someone I like in the vanilla world with someone with potentially well-developed and complimentary kinks is amazingly compelling--I can't wait to see what happens next (but I am guarding myself from rushing into anything too quickly.)

The funny part is, I know Magic is testing me--and I bet he is smart enough to know I know it. It's just these little things--clues, I'd day--but having been with a serious and experienced Dom once before, I recognize the focus and the energy in the questions.

On one hand, I am thrilled to have the chance to get to know him better--on the other, I'd have to be pretty smitten--and a great fit--to want to reengage deeply with someone who I suspect regards possession as 9/10ths of the law...after all, I still having made it to having a loving encounter with a couple, or any of that girl on girl stuff I once talked about exploring.

I am back..and back at it

Like the new design? A great friend helped me out with it...it's like having a fabulous new dress--but one that won't wrinkle, stain or wear out. Thanks, dear!

All sorts of factors kept me away, but starting this week, I will be posting regularly...there's always lots to share.

Casual dating: a window opening, wide

So spending the night with someone as a loving friend probably has its good points, but my date last night wasn't just nice, it sizzled!

Lots of great talk, food, walking (all things I like), more talk, hugs and kisses and more touch, and the...more touch after that.

And while size doesn't matter, the fact he had a pretty great and thick cock was a discovery I didn't expect..and that fact he stuck his finger in my butt as he massaged my g-spot, and that he had a wonderful, probing tongue....mnnnn....it was all good. As was the cuddling, the talk about sex and fantasies, the cuddling and..the cuddling.

This morning, we made love again and it was so nice and I felt so good about the connection.

And then he left and we agreed we'd want to see one another again, but didn't set a date--and a window into what more casual dating might look and feel like suddenly opened, wide.

Casual dating vs. Being a slut

It's occurred to me recently, that while I've done my share of exploring with others, I basically haven't done well at all in the casual dating realm. Instead, I've jumped into intense relationships with a few men, and dismissed those who didn't fit the bill.

Now, as I try to keep more time for myself, and also meet someone who would be a great partner in numerous ways, I'm thinking some more casual dating--and casual sex--is the way to go. Why date one man when I can get to know a few and comparison shop? Now that I am basically, why not do all the things I've wanted to do--and try not to get too bogged down in the bargain?

Also, why don't I try to meet more men in the real world? Goodness knows, there's a lot of spicy activities out there--how about I try partaking in some of them?

In that spirit I am seeing a friend tonight who I've always liked...but have never thought of as boyfriend material, and I am relishing the idea I have no idea what is going to happen. Nice change, eh?

(Of course, I did change the sheets, just in case.)

Booty call

It's late and I'm horny and I think about who I could call and wonder if it's worth the effort, but there's no one I know I want to come over, no one who could meet these needs, at least not with out my getting all emeshed again.

G--never.
D--no way.
A--that's over and I can't give in to going back.

And all the other men I've met in the past--if I didn't sleep with them the first time, why would I want to do it now?

Yeah, there just isn't anyone right now who could hit it right.

Hot banging sex...with my hand.

Touch me and I shiver, kiss me and I melt.

It's late night after a date and I am in bed with myself, making love with my hand.

We kissed in the car and he put his hand on my throat, but he doesn't know I'm submissive and he's not going to find out; I'm not playing so fast anymore--I'm just running those scenes in my mind.

Slowly, I wet my pussy lips and put my hand down there. One finger rubs around my clit, the other strokes the moist skin and the short, curly hairs. I can feel the heat from my body and how I want it, how I want that man I no longer have, and how I'm going to give myself exactly what I want, a big, banging orgasm that will leave me panting.

Slowly and gently, I touch and rub, petting the hot button of love until the tension makes me want to scream. My mind's full of moments, flashes of men, real and imagined.

Alone in the bed, I ride my dreams, rocking hard until I come, until a soft whisper stands in for the scream I'd utter if someone were really here, until I'm so tired I can fall asleep.

I've been hurt

So something happened to me that hasn't happened before: I've been hurt.

I met someone I wanted more with, who clearly doesn't want that with me.
And I'm crushing on this person and feeling rejected.

I suppose I'm lucky this is a first, but I feel sad I'm not going to get what I want, as in you can't always....

Talking to the hand

It's me, alone in the big white bed, wanting to come and put myself to sleep.
It's me, touching those tender spots on my breasts, tracing the swell of a nipple, pinching the tips so tender, and hard.

My hand between my legs
My hand inside my cunt
My warm, wet flesh
That smell rising as I arch and come

My mind dreaming of you
of my collar
The man no longer with me
No longer here

It's been a month since we touched.

Our mouths are like two hummingbirds seeking honey,
reaching deep to extract from the core.

Our hands like wings beating in the air,
only air is the warm skin we touch.

Drowning in feeling, we cannot get enough.
Holding one another so very close, we have to get beyond our touch
to a place where two souls can meet and hold fast, hold space

no matter what else might come.

for D.

Fire, I am burning

His hip, curving, bone like a handle, thrown across my bed.
Hands, long and narrow, one twined tight around my neck, the other (almost) holding me down.
"I like putting my fingers in your cunt," he said. "I like holding you there."
And "I love biting your breasts, those big, sensitive nipples."
And I I mention how me moaned when I sucked his cock?
His pleasure when I took it deep in my mouth and licked the tender edge?

So good I could almost come

He's not tall, slender, with long arms and legs, full lips that pout like a girl's.
His eye are brown, tender, but when we kiss, he holds my neck hard, like a dom.

"Would you take your shirt off?" he asks.
"Only if you take yours off, too," I respond." But, you know, I'm not going to sleep with you."

Soon we're in the bedroom and he's kissing my breast through the thin net of my bra, biting down on the nipples in a way that I know has to make his cock so hard.

"I'd like to touch your breasts," he says.
"Okay, " I say, "But you have to take your shirt off too."

And that's when I see it--the nipple ring--a slim silver slice bisecting the tiniest spot.
"Ohhhhh," I say, and bend to kiss it.

"Ohhh," he responds, deep in the back of his throat, and as we kiss and touch one another, I savor that he's so hot.

"Your breasts are incredible," he tells me. "I want to worship them."
"Go ahead," I murmur,.

When I feel his mouth on my nipple, hands squeezing and stroking the flesh, it's so good, I could almost come.

And then later, when we're naked, and his perfect cock is hard and big and the lube I squeezed out is all over my hands, I just want to make him come.

This man is pure poetry.

Manless

Having ended it with both of my lovers, I have no guy.

This is the first time in quite a while there's no one, and I'm surprised at how much that isn't bothering me (of course, it's only been a few days.)

I don't feel ready to deal with anyone else, and I'm relishing the idea of additional time to myself, but I am also thinking that this might be a good time to revisit my vibrator stash and see if all the parts work. The moment is going to suddenly arrive, I know, where I'll want more than just being very good friends with my hand, and it's always smart to therefore be prepared.

(Of course, then there's the fact that when I touch myself, I think of someone I used to date and we're not together, and that makes me sad, and then that little orgasmic thrill goes away--at least until I force myself to change the channel in my head and rely on older, tried and true fantasties to get off.)

It would be interesting to set myself a no guy challenge, to take things really slow this time, and see what emerges in my psyche from resolving to be sexual--but solo.

Stay turned and you may find out.

So Andre and I have decided to part

..and we're going to talk about what to do with this blog.
It was a huge thing for me to invite another person in, and now that that's happened, I am asking myself what the best next steps are.

Some ideas:
Continue to share blogging, even if we are not together (That seems too awkward and wierd.)
Continue blogging solo, as before.
Delete Andre's posts (his decision, really.)
Close down this blog and start a new one with another name, another URL.

I want to see what's most comfortable for Andre; I'm not sure yet what my preference is. Till this gets discussed and resolved, I'll keep posting here.

Sad news

For reasons I'm not going to share, Andre and I have decided to part. We're figuring out what happens with the blog.

I like the little things Plum does for me

I am amazed at how I respond to little things that Plum does for me. Nothing big, just the 'I picked these up for you' in a particular snack she'd thought I liked, or even 'I looked for those but didn't find them'. It truly is the thought that counts. Of course, I am sure I do the same, but it is so good to find reciprocation and validation. It creates a loving bond and allowss us to play at a high intensity.

We haven't had time to play much in the last week because of a late date, late night out, and an early rise. We awoke late because of too much snuggle time. I jumped out of bed, made coffee while Plum showered, and then out the door. Plum remarked 6 minutes start to out! Wow, I never knew a woman could do that. Of course, Plum isn't just a woman, she is much more complex.

I like it that way.

Icy

This image makes me think of two of my favorite things--

cool ices in the summertime

--and sucking cock.

(flickr photo by chepuca)

Fur: Diane Arbus as submissive

Watching Fur: A movie by Secretary directory Steve Shainberg about photographer Diane Arbus that's set in a fantasy realm, it's clear that the director--and perhaps star Nicole Kidman--imagined the wildly creative and original Arbus--from an upper middle class family--to actually be a highly repressed submissive with a unique way of seeing things.


The doll hospital..the city morgue..flophouses..the insane asylum--this movie's imaginary Arbus loves'em all, but she just really wants is a Daddy with a whip who will set her genius free.

It was so inviting.......

Plum and I had a hot scene the other day. I tried out some new sensation toys on her cute round ass.

The riding crop and quirt(small horse whip) were purchased at the feed and farm supply store in town. I showed them to Plum last week and left them on her night stand. No doubt, Plum sanitized her room to make sure her virtue is left in tack as far as most of her friends know about us. Plum must cater to the ones who think that we are just an ordinary middle-aged couple who are in love. Of course, we often joke about how much the housekeeper knows, as we also suspect that the housekeeper has some skeletons in the attic also.

While deliciously torment some pink part of Plum, I told her to get the new toys out and kneel on the bed. Of course, the sight was delicious, a term I often use for Plum.

I began to gently test the toys, first the crop. It had a pad bigger than most. It was hard to say if bigger is better. I kind of like the precision of smaller, but the sound of bigger is intoxicating. The quirt was next. This is my first endeavor into a whip like toy. I loved the pink dashes that developed and how Plum jumped and gasped. She look so inviting. I love the unexpected in my play.

While caressing her reddened ass as a sort of break that might have been consider aftercare, I had an evil urge.

Being a visual person, Plums upturned ass and available pink rose bud were just too much for me to resist. I plunged a finger in quickly while I was massaging her g-spot. No preparation except being adequate lubed. Her reaction was immediate!

She managed a few seconds of enjoyment as I finger fucked her ass. So taboo, so naughty, so basic......... all of which contributed to an orgasm that flooded a towel and left her quivering and spent.

After she recovered and I washed up, we started to plan our next date. I vowed that this time it wouldn't be a finger, it would be me. We seldom play like that, but the intensity is up and no holes are barred, or it is bared????

Plum and I plan our next date

Plum and I are changing things a little here. As I hoped we are turning things up a notch, but also have freed ourselves in other ways. When we left each other the other day, we began to plan our next date.

I found this delicious 3/16" orange rope which feels like a very strong dacron braid. No stretch, reasonably inexpensive at Ace Hardware. It caught my eye in a a display at the cash register. It called out to be wrapped around Plum's white skin. Get the EMT scissors out, this will be fun.

Usually our play is just a few taunts over the telephone or inan email before a date. I am not an over-planner. But, this time we agreed to be different. I also recently got some new toys.

While at the local feed and farm store, I picked a new riding crop and a quirt whip. Nothing too serious, but these are our favorite category of toys which we call pervertables. These are toys that have other intended uses that we can use for play. In this case, the price is probably 50% or less than the cost in a BDSM/Fetish store. I tried both in a light way the other day and got a good feeling for Plum's reaction.

So, we will add a bondage element here as well. I will bind Plum so she is pretty immobile. My scene envisions her to be pretty powerless to decide which part of her body I will use.

Plum is pretty flexible, so her grabbing her ankles, or rather not having a choice has possibilities, binding her breasts with the orange rope would put her in an dandy predictament. Then I would be free to take her anyway that I want. I like when bound breasts get so red. Pretty erotic, so primal......

After the light test with the new toys the other day, Plum said she wanted me to use them on her breasts. Yes, we are turning the heat up a little. Plum will get her wish.

The BDSM purists say that this is topping from the bottom, usually used in a derogatory manner. I just say that it is keeping my submissive happy. Time will tell us how happy she wants to be........ I intend to make her very happy.... always my intention! She will feel cherished as well, she will have no choice!

A most amazing night.........

Plum and I have an amazing quality. Our deep relationship seems to be able to handle bumps in the road, change course a little. and emerge completely revived. We love each other so much.

We started the day by checking in about some issues that troubled us, mostly related to the direction of our relationship. Nothing new here from either of us. Me wanting more.... Plum's already alluded to them. After 30 minutes of heart-to-heart discussion, yes I teared several times. We've agreed that I will date others and that Plum will be my primary relationship. I love that excitement, but also have mixed feelings for my reasons why I am doing it. I know I have to be less analytical, because over-analyzing all of our differences here is driving us both nuts.

The surprise occurred after the get together. I went home with Plum and we made mad passionate love. The very best ever for me here. There was an intensity that was baffling. I couldn't get enough of her. Usually late at night after a full day, I am kind of lackluster. In this case, we rolled out the rockets and canons. We had the Theme from 1812 and the Theme from Rocky both playing at once. So deep. So juicy. So delicious. So sated.

We slept deeply and then awoke. Plum was first, and pattered around the house, read email. I slept like a baby and recovered well from the night before. She climbed back into bed to wake me in her own special way. There was little hesitation as I responded. No doubt existed in my mind that she wanted. Plum and I have rules. Number one is neither of us EVER say no. The morning was pretty lazy. We made love, played, and chatted for a few hours before breakfast. Plum probably came 20 something times. I came twice. She is a real cum slut. We drenched a couple of large bath towels and still soaked the bed. I tried our a new crop and a whip I bought at the local feed and farm supply store. I left some nice marks on her ass and promised that her luscious tits were next. No coffee was drunk, we were too busy with each other.

In the end, checking in was very good. No real changes except perhaps a further affirmation that I will date others. Plum and I re-iterated our positions that we mean more to each other, and other relationship are meant to be secondary We cleared the air and turned up the heat up a notch.

We split after planning the next date. I found some colorful orange rope. Soft nylon, about 5/32" and bound to look good against Plum's pure white skin. She will be bound and immobilized and I will use her as I see fit. I'm sure we'll tease and taunt each other for the next few days before our next date. No doubt here that it will be hot. Plum loves being restrained and then used for my pleasure. I take it over and over again!

She also knows that her total pleasure is my goal, and I seldom miss that mark. I certainly didn't miss that mark this afternoon as I tucked her into bed, fully used, took a shower and left her napping with a very content smile on her face, as well as a very well used body. So primal........ in love.