Andre shoves it right in

He's learned the joys of my sucking his cock, taking the tip far back in my throat, rubbing the mushroom head against my larynx until I basically choke, then doing it again and again as my fingers tease his balls and scratch and stroke the sensitive skin.

I've learned what his fingers feel like inside me, those big thumbs that enter my pussy and rub, that turn me into a wet puddle of gluey cum, over and over again, as predictable as a wind-up toy.

We touch one another, and please and tease, run and stroke, until the moment I turn over, obediently, for him to put his cock in me and he shoves it right in, his hand almost delicately touching my thigh as his hips pump against me, in and out.

"Oh that feels so good," he sighs.

"Yes, it feels good," I agree, enjoying the throb of his hard cock inside me, enjoying his hand on my hip holding me down, enjoying the way he can rub right up against my g-spot and make me so god damned wet.

We come together when we fuck, we come together after I've sucked him down whole and he's made me squirt buckets of wet onto a towel.

His ass rubs against mine, his cock slides between my legs and down into my flesh, into the dark wet hole my submission has become.

As he thrusts against me, his hand pinning my legs, I feel my body open to him, the soft wet flesh pulsing against his skin, the head of his cock pinned inside my cunt just like my thighs are pinned by his hands and our orgasms bloom, one after the other, our gasps and crying making a song that resonates in the spent silence.

Later, we sleep, and when I wake up in the middle of the night, on the edge of the early morning light, I realize that I am sleeping against him, curled into his tall length and that his leg is thrown across my body, holding me down, keeping me tucked against him as we sleep.

"I can't get away," I think, "He's captured me," and as I am wondering why this truth strikes me as both good and bad, I wriggle free of his leg and go back to sleep.

Fabulous Monkey Sex

He said "We had fabulous monkey sex last night" and laughed--and I shut down.

It's true, we did have fabulous monkey sex, the two of us soaked in sweak and stinking and slimy with lube and come, but I was trying to have a tantric spritual connected experience--and we were both just too eager and greedy to pull that off.

Nevertheless, when he implied our coming together was just so much casual fun (which maybe it is), I flinched. And got off the phone. And sulked.

And then, when I called him back to explain how I felt and that his comment had put me off, he seemed unreceptive. I felt awkward, not reassured.

And now I am about to go to bed and make love with my hand and think about whether I should try to meet someone else and forget this.

Sex with D--and Andre

So while my body is still as wet and juicy and receptive of D as ever, the shifting dynamic of my BDSM lover is definitely taking some of the charge out of the wild fucking I do with D.

I admit it, it turns me on to have a lover who holds me down, rubs himself against my body, and as soon as I am moist, shoves his super-hard cock right into the soft pink, slamming over and over into my pussy and against my G-spot as he whispers the filthiest stuff into my ear.

On the other hand, those pleasures pall a bit when I've just spent the previous evening being tied down and cuffed so that I could have two big meaty hands explore me, thrumming my G-spot over and over until I came so hard I squirted buckets all over an already drenched towel until Andre felt ready to play with my clit, his mouth sucking and biting my breasts as his hands plucked the stiffening flesh and grabbed the soft, hairy mound skin.

And then there was the moment Andre shoved himself in my mouth, fucking my face in a way that doesn't particularly turn Wash on (except for the sheer sluttiness of it), the fat tip of his cock pressing against my lips and making me droll as he shoved hard, right to the back of my throat.

I recognize this is a higher order problem to have, that making love with both D and Andre are true pleasures, but as the world's biggest G-spot slut (I think), the way Andre can push that magic button every time makes me just beside myself--and when you add some good spanking to that--I'm all for it.

Observations: Me & Andre

Andre and I have several weeks of dating history now, and while the let's see how many wet squirting orgasms I can give Plum before she can't move hasn't abated, we're starting to recognize that maybe we don't have to be quite so greedy and rushed about our pleasures.
Having said that, and recognizing that I do have another lover (and Andre has two), we're also thinking about what's next.

We're both into BDSM and I know there will be more public play in our future, but we're also talking about threesomes, couples and swinging...stuff neither of us have as of yet explored.
At the same time, I'm also getting a better sense of Andre as a Dom.

Some observations about him:

• He is truly dominant, but he's not particularly into pain.
• Or, he is into giving pain from an erotic perspective, but doesn't get much of his own sexual thrill from causing it.
• He's a giver, but he likes feeling in control.
• He loves it when I take control for a bit--which is atypical for a Dom--but we've talked about how much fun it would be for me to learn CBT--and use it on him for exquisite thrills, sometime.
• He'll never want to humilate me, share me if I don't want to be shared, or push me beyond my pleasure--in some ways--it will be easy to top from the bottom with him--because his true desire is to make me/keep me happy in his arms.

Some observations about me:

• I want to feel owned, controlled, possessed and cared for.
• In some ways this is more important than feeling loved (tho I feel loved).
• I am probably potentially more hard core than he is--which means he's a good choice--since I like to manage my edges.
• The pleasure of dating someone dominant who outweighs me by a good 100 pounds is something I am going to remember--it adds special fillip to being held down.

What feels like home

For me, it's his big hands inside my pussy, his fingers thrusting against my g-spot, milking the fluid out as I come and come;

It's his mouth on my nipple, teeth scraping the tip, the pain building as the pleasure tips through my cunt, the whole thing so over the top I can only sob with joy.

For him, it's fucking my face, using my mouth to pleasure his dick, the fat fleshy tip shoved hard against the back of my throat, his hands on my neck as he thrusts into my face.

It's his mouth against the wet soreness of my clit, teeth teasing the pointed red edges of sensitive skin, hands pulling at my pussy lips.

For both of us it's his fingers inside me, two and three and even hour at a time, ramming into my throbbing wet hole like I am his insatiable cumslut, my consciousness exploding in bursts of pleasure.

We fucked today for the first time, and while it wasn't as intense as a full g-spot massage, having him inside me was incredible, wonderful, something I want to enjoy and never regret.

Spanking Class

We're in the city, at spanking class, watching a young pro domme --let's call her Starfire--instruct on the art of spanking.
Her model is her slave, a tall, young transsexual with cute little breasts (think two small apples), long, limber legs, and tiny pink lace panties under a miniscule schoolgirl shirt(let's call her Candy).
"One of my favorite holds is to put your partner over your knees, but take your inner leg and cross it over your body, pinning him or her down," Starfire says. "You can then grab your partner around the shoulders, or if you're into SM, by the scruff of the neck (she demonstrates).
"And then you can vary your strokes, touching the flesh as it reddens up, managing the rhythm to suit the occasion--and your mood."
Starfire puts Candy through her paces, and we learn all the spanking positions:

• OTK (over the knee)
• OTK with cross leg hold
• Standing (two positions)
• Lying down (three positions)

We then learn about positions of the hands, where to hit on the ass, spanking other body parts (genitals, breasts), and so on.

At the end of the class, there's a Q&A.

I ask about how spankers can minimize and avoid brusing and marks and I am incredibly amused when the whole room erupts into a discussion of the homeopathic medicine Arnica.

"I take Arnica internally all the time," says one beefy guy with a submissive's collar and a heavy set girl friend.

"Rub Arnica on the bruises," councils another woman, who later accosts me to offer relationship counseling.

Naive as I am, the idea that the BDSM community has its own set of herbal and homeopathic remedies to address marks, bruises, cuts, falls, etc. is as surprising as it is practical...And of course, I am rushing off to pick some up today.

What I know about me and Andre

It could be that he's the one I've been looking for, and that he arrived when I didn't know I was searching.
Or it could be that we will have an amazingly delightful stretch of time and go on to other things and people--it is just too soon to tell.

But here's what I do know:

• He can take me over and over, his hands rubbing my g-spot in a way that make me squirt buckets across the bed.
• When I suck his cock, I like to lick the opening in the head; it's like a little mouth filled with pre-cum I can kiss,tease, and touch.
• His teeth on my breast feel so good; my nipples hardening as he catches them just so, inflicting the most delicious pain.
• When he spanks me, his big hands hit me just right, over and over, and at the same time I want to cry, I feel this amazing peace, a flowing into sub-space that is so soothing, so calm.
• Lying together in bed, we fit just right.
• His smile in the morning makes my heart sing.
• We have no problem talking about sex--and even love--between ourselves and other people.

"I love how you give yourself to me," he says (this is not a very cruel Dom, but all Dom none the less)."And I love the feeling of controlling you."
"And I love giving myself to you," I respond. "I want you to feel you own me." (I don't say I want you to own me because I think he has to come to that.)

Fly me to the moon

Mmmmnnn, nice.

Graydancer, Alegra and K go at it, with grace, charm and edge.

Andre

Andre is on his way over to my place--a long drive through lots of rush hour traffic.
He'll be here for two night--tomorrow night we have no plans, except to hang out and enjoy one another.

When we got together last weekend, I stripped, then put on the black hood and the new O-ring collar he bought me. It looked so hot! Especially as I knelt and sucked his cock, and then when I knelt over him and strapped the leather cock ring on.

Mnnnnnnn...I anticipate lots of soaked towels.

Grinding it

It's the weekend and Andre's taken me to a party with his friends. His vanilla friends, I mean--not the one's who saw me get hung up on the St. Andrew's Cross with big black cuffs and flogged into sub space, but the ones down at the cafe, the hanging on the porch friends from his town and bike riding trips.

It's Saturday night and we're out with said friends, couples, mostly, at a local bar, having a party of our own with the three-piece disco band that's wailing away on their horns, synth percussion and canned music.

The band is smoking, Andre and I are shaking our butts, and it's all good.
And then Olivia Newton Skank comes over to chat.

5' 8, big boobs, round butt, straight black bangs, ONSK dances like a stripper who's waiting to get back to the pole and she's been on the floor near us all night, shaking it with her date and some girl friends.

Now. she sails over to me.

"You are just so cute," she says."Such a good dancer, and so hot!"

"Thanks," I say, smiling a little as I turn back to Andre.

Twenty minutes later, she's over again. "Hey, I just have to dance with you...I keep watching you and you're so sexy...."

What the hell I think and I say "Okay," smiling slightly as I follow her into the center of the dance floor and into the juicy joyfulness of the Ohio Players, Kool and the Gang and the rest of the funk this band is throwin' down.

Skank Girl is shaking her melons in my face and making kissy lips at me; I', doing the bump against her thigh, hitting my shoulder and then my ass in perfect time to the (second) beat.

Soon, we're doing the dirty grind, crunking hard, and I know the whole room is watching the spectacularly sexy, powerfully controlled dance I'm doing against girlfriend's thighs, and the knee-popping, down-lo shamking Shanky Girl is doing round me.

We are hot, I know it, and if I suggested she come home with Andre and me, she'd agree in a flash, but she looks like she's been ridden too hard to be my type, and besides, her breasts are definitely fake (and, for all my bravado, I've never done a girl, not if you don't count some messing around at eighteen).

"Take it easy," I say and stride back to Andre, pleased as punch with my wild display.

"It's you she wants,not me," he says, as we start dancing again, my body small against this big man's side. I'm smiling and shaking it and all of a sudden Skanky Girl is back, griding against my shoulder so I'm suddenly the middle of a sandwich between her and Andre.

"Help" and "Get me out of here" I mouth to Andre, but he just laughs.

"Ohhhh,sweetie, you're so cute,"she says, leaning down and hugging me,.

I think Damn as I pull myself away, letting the intensity of the moment pass, amused that this is happening in the vanilla world, with a girl at the local bar, and not at a play party, an orgy or a club.

Damn, I tell myself,watching her walk back to the bar, damn, damn, damn, I could have taken that woman home tonight and that is just so freakin' odd.

Oh, the joy of Jane's Guide

What a thrill tonight to see that always aroused girl has written a review of my blog for Jane's Guide, the porn and erotica directory.

AAG says: Beautiful writing and sexy adventures. A blog not to be missed.

thank you thank you thank you!!!

Graydancer moves me

Here's truth plainly spoken by Graydancer that sings in my heart:
"One benefit of this breakup: I no longer have to dance around separating the fact that I was in love with both of them, separating this feeling from that feeling. I can just sit there and say yeah, for a long time, I was really lucky, and I got to love both of them. And that's the way it was."

Why is it that once we have lost everything, we can be reborn? And know our feelings for what they really are (or were?)

No one sent me flowers today

No one sent me flowers today.

No one made red roses bloom as their tongue plunged into my warm lips, the dark pink folds of my cunt.

No one sent me flowers today.

There were no kisses, and no hugs,
No hands tracing a line down my back
and smacking me hard, on the ass,
no long fingers circling my throat like a collar,
a butterfly caress.

No one sent me flowers today.

No one came over to bite and kiss and tug and rub.

No one sent me flowers today.

Black roses, white, or red,
scattered pink blooms fluttering across my bed
the secret smells of passion and love.



Valentines Day, 2007

Update on two lovers

So I am back to the two lovers tip: D, my long time attached lover, and Andrew, my new dominant lover. I have no time for anything else--but it's good.

One night, I'm with D. "Fuck me, you slut," he pants. "I'm shoving my cock into your wet, juicy pussy."

The next night I'm with Andre. "I own this," he growls, grabbing my pussy with his big, wide hand. "Mine."

I have a yellow bruise on my breast tonight from Andre slapping my breasts as I rode him, grinding my pussy against his cock as we talking about how much we wanted to fuck.

And my lips are sore from kissing D, who cuddled against me late the previous night, whispering "I hope you're in my life for a very, very long time."

The best thing is that--unlike Z--these two men know about one another and seem okay with it, perhaps even fine with it.

One's the Dom, the other's not, and there seems to surely be enough to share.

Sex party redux

What is there to say about rooms full of naked people on mattresses, chairs, and the floor, fucking, sucking, touching, moaning--while others stand around talking and watching, sometimes real close, sometimees from a distance?

The sex party was in the house in the burbs. "They put those red lights outside everytime," my friend said. "Their neighbors must hate it."

There were over 100 people there, way too many.

My friends found some of their friends and I soon met a medly of people who, if I saw them at the office, would never imagine that they had spent part of their weekend swinging at an orgy.

But while it was fun, I never touched anyone--that is if you don't count kissing Kitten, Madelaine, and Mark, the twisted threesome who brought me.
Why not?

Too many people, too many agendas, too much flesh with no energy or intimacy--just didn't happen.

On the other hand, I looked great, felt admired, and would definitely look for a smaller party to play out--with my dear friends, who turned me out just right.

A couple of hot scenes from the party:
Sucking cock: Two girls, white skin,long black hair falling in their eyes, face fucking and sucking two men. The older gent on the right, a black man with a hardtime face, held the girl's head with one hand as he fed her his dick with the other, keeping a steady rhythm that left her no time to breathe. Are you surprised the sound of her choking turned me on? Or that when he took her head between his hands, holding it completely to better use her mouth, I briefly contemplated walking over to the two total strangers and saying, "Excuse me, may I cut in?"

Mark caning Kitten across a bed, the only BDSM moment of the night, the white stick leaving red marks on her tawny flesh as she wiggled under the stick, getting more and more turned on as the pain sent her to sub-space. (And yes, I let him cane me a little too, and it was great.)

A little tiny Asian woman going down on a big fat one who lay back, legs in the air. Two hefty black dudes eating out the Asian, touching and sucking and eventually fucking, shoving right into her as she muff-dove on the big girl.

Conclusion: I would go again, but only to a smaller, more intimate gathering with Madelaine, Kitten, Mark and their friends.

Sex party--my first

I'm going to a sex party this weekend with some friends.

It's a private group of swingers having a party in one house. Single women (that would be me) are free. My friends I am going with are regulars and will watch out for me.

"There's no pressure to play," they say.

We'll see.

I'm looking for tips and advice from all you readers out there on sex party etiquette--any advice for an newbie?

Sugasm #63

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Squirting like never before

In bed with Andre, and he is working me over in a major way.

If my g-spot were a city, it would now be razed, demolished, trashed by the ground zero of sex he's launched at my very center, my passion exploding out from the core so that I squirt over and over, so violently fluid is gushing out, so hard I worry that I am actually peeing, an uncontrollable stream that's just happening and cannot be stopped.

"Oh,oh,oh," I gasp, my voice breaking into a sob, my head thrown back and back arching as I touch the pointed nipples on my tits.

"I want you to squirt," he says and as his hands assault my pussy, I want to scream, to find some release, and then I feel myself opening, my body stiffening as the orgasm builds, and then I am squirting, harder and faster than ever before, feeling the fluid just pour out of my body, in one stream --sort of like pee (only completely different) and then I go limp, sated and drained as Ande leans over, my juices soaking his face.

"That's good, that's good," he says, and then he goes in for more.

The toy bag

We're talking about what we like and what we've done.

He's telling me about rope, about cuffs, restraints, paddles and floggers.

I'm telling him about blindfolds, gags, hoods and bondage.

"I'd kind of like a gag," I hear myself say. "And I love blindfolds...and restraints..."

"Would you like to see my toy bag?" he says.

I agree, and soon I am reviewing a highly impressive set of canes, whips and floggers.

There's the soft suede flogger with the knotted ends, and the harsh leather flogger that must hurt like hell, and the rabbits' fur flogger that could warm things up and the braided leather coil flogger that Andre says he like to use "on pussy."

And then there's the hard plastic flogger that could easily leave marks, and two rattan canes, a bundled sheaf of softer twigs, and a whole assortment of paddles.

And the clover clamps, and the (ugh) clothes pins.

The pervertables--spoons, spatulas and plastic binders--and rope, yards of it, and a wand of cellophane for bondage wrapping.

"Wow," I say, and show him the mask, the butt plug and the dildo I've brought along, just in case.

He smiled and nods appreciatively.

"Just wait, " he says, a glint in his eye, "It is only going to get better."

Dom and Sub: The contract

"Mine." He tugs at the curly hair around my pussy lips, tightening his grip. His wolf eyes hold my gaze, intent, probing. "Mine."

He tugs harder and I feel the hairs stretch in his grip.

"Yes," I answer him. "It's yours, I give it to you."

Later, his mouth is on my breast, teeth gazing the nipple. "Mine."

I lean my head back, nestled in his arms. "Yes, they're yours."

We touch and murmur through the night, my mouth closing tight on his straining cock, his hands shoved inside me until I am wet beyond belief.

"I want to be your slut," I murmur. "I want to give myself to you. I want to feel owned and possessed."

"I want to use you," he says. "I see you naked, in a collar, an equal, but also my slave...."

"Slut," I correct, nestling closer. "I would like to belong to you, to feel possessed, in in time, I will want to call you Master."

We hold together, entwined in the big soft bed, talking of the present and the future about to happen.

It's a contract of sorts, a set of wishes and promises between two seeking people, a Dom looking for a women to possess and a submissive looking for a Master.

As we touch and murmur, my heart starts to race and I see once again how much yearning I have, how eager and hungry I am to give myself over, how much I want to see if this man can be the one.

Sugasm #62

Again! Mnmmm...delicious.......

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants.

Want in Sugasm #63? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form.
Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Slut (http://lafillemariee.blogspot.com)“I fucked one man at the request of another, in exactly the way asked for. Then I reported what happened to the one who requested it.”
When Clients Look Like Relatives (http://radicalvixen.com/blog)“I walked out the door, saw a man standing there and almost puked.”
Low Class Stripper? Classism and society’s view of adult entertainment (http://fullfrontalpolitics.com)“For a lot of women sex work is a last-ditch option, something we all consider in the back of our minds when we’re growing up; we ask ourselves once or twice, if we needed the money, would we strip?”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Playboy Soldiers (http://sugarbank.com)

Editors’ Choice
Where the Wild Things Are (http://kinkyfarmwife.blogspot.com)

More SugasmJoin the Sugasm

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Call It Arm-Twisting (http://www.betweensheets.net)
Discovering Their Sexy Secrets (http://dirtydetails.blogspot.com)
Erotica in 2007 (http://sabrinainstockings.com)
I LIKE being a slut! (http://kyliecallme.com/diary)
Making Choices About Time & Energy….. (http://totalsensuality.blogspot.com)

Sex Work
One of the other things I do is teach (http://thismuse.blogspot.com)

BDSM and FetishA date with the (new) Dom (http://plum001.blogspot.com)
Homecoming (http://pandorablake.blogspot.com)
Kiss Goddess Soles and worship (http://www.princessfetishmoneyslave.com)
My first D/S experience with a couple (http://brooklynrake.blogspot.com)
An Orgasm Denial Essay by Ms Ava of www.cockcontrol.com (http://www.orgasmdenialblog.com)
T is for ternion (http://redvelvetropeburn.com)

Sex News, Reviews
iPlug Vibrating Anal Plug Review (http://stilettodiaries.blogspot.com)
My New Toy (http://ellabeecoquette.blogspot.com)Not About Love - it’s about beauty (http://sexdriver.blogspot.com)
Up and coming babes for 2007 (http://pornhater.com)
You’re All Invited to My Most Erotic Birthday Yet! (http://www.taratainton.com)

Sex Advice
How To Shave My Pussy (http://www.model-chat.com)
Reader Q&A: The Man Who Couldn’t Blow His Load (http://smutandsteff.com)

Sex and Politics
Why are baby girls in India Dying (http://deliciously-naughty.typepad.com)

NSFW Pics (& videos)
Every good student should have a world map… (http://mapgirls.blogspot.com)
Happy HNT - Boxing bondage (http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com)
I Like My Cock (http://edinerotica.blogspot.com)
New Year (http://hothardcock.blogspot.com)

Erotic Writing and ExperiencesB
isexual by Proxy 2 (http://perverselypoly.blogspot.com)
Confluence of Hedonists #4 (http://www.easilyaroused.co.uk)
Displayed (http://pick-up-pieces.blogspot.com)
I Want You Horny-The Conclusion (http://watchingmywife.blogspot.com)
Lead Me Not Into Temptation (http://sexandtheivy.com)
Love Thy Neighbor (http://eroticjournals.blogspot.com)
Me, Her, and Him 4 (http://erotischism.blogspot.com)
Melanie And I (http://mandyseroticlife.blogspot.com)
More Dirty Little Girl (http://cumslutandsupercock.blogspot.com)
New Year’s Eve (http://sugarbutch.blogspot.com)
No Sex in the Champagne Room? (http://sexdemon.blogspot.com)
Our First Foursome (http://hommeandfemme.blogspot.com)
Red (http://ellesnovellas.blogspot.com)
Sex Cam Adventures (http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com)
Take Me (http://nocloudnine.blogspot.com)
That Look (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)

With Andre (aka Date with a Dom 2)

We're together again, at his place, away from the city and where the lights shine from the hills into darkness and silence.

We're in his bed and he's holding me down, one hand pinching my nipples as his tongue seeks my mouth. We kiss and play and touch and it's all good, it feels so good, and then there's the sense there could be more.

"Just hurt me a little when you do that," I whisper as his mouth finds my breast. "It will send me right over the edge."

Later, I take his cock in my mouth, running my teeth lightly over the full tip, taking the fleshy bulb deep into the back of my throat, caressing him--really--with the inside of my cheeks. He moans, "Oh, that feels so good."

"Play with it, explore it, touch it," he directs, and I bend my head and work my tongue, my mouth, my throat, my hands, my breasts, all to give him pleasure.

We've agreed, at this early stage, to not have genital sex, so although he's put his fingers and his mouth everywhere on me, I make a little nest for him, slick with lube and juices, with my mouth and my fingers. "Oh, oh," he breathes as he comes, and I kiss him, happy but filled with regret, because I want to feel his cock filling me, feel his length pressed against me, feel his body pushing me from the inside, but we aren't ready to go there, not yet.

Throughout the night we touch, and in the morning, he reaches for me, his hands on my body, demanding and giving, much like R's were, before. We make love over and over again, and each time there is that hint of the D/s, the flower about to bloom, the possession about to take root.

I want to give myself to him.
I want to be dominated, posssessed, treasured and used.
I hope this can happen.

Sex with D

He pins me down in bed. His heavy arms holding my shoulders flat against the mattress.
Exuberantly, he kisses me, his lips tight, his body pressing hard against my legs.
"You little slut, you like that don't you," he says as he pushes himself against my legs, his cock growing hard and thick from the friction.

"You like that don't you," he hisses as he holds me down, his legs pushing my legs open, his cock stabbing hard against my lips, seeking entry.

And then there's the moment I sigh and open for him, my body wetting itself, moistening, even with the absence of real foreplay.

I am so conditioned to want him, to feel his cock inside me thrusting hard against my g-spot, buried so deep his balls slap against my legs that I open almost instantly, wet enough and soft enough for him to drive his cock right in.

And then there's the moment when he's holding me down, my legs spread wide, wide open, almost over my head, to give him fullest access and the motions of that hard stabbing cock, that electric energy between us make me want to scream, it's so good, so exciting I get chills as I write this.

"Turn over," he'll say after a while, and flip me onto my front, my ass in the air, so he can pound me doggy-style, his cock driving into me as my pussy squeezes him tight, a wet, hungry red glove, clenching over and over till all he can do is explode, crying as he squirts cum into me again and again, the force of his orgasm clearly taking him out of himself over and over in a series of small, vibrant moments, a passion for my body that never slackens, never abates, never ends.

Where is D?

You may be wondering where D fits into my new Dom joy.
He's still around, still very much my partner and lover and he seems--at this early stage--to understand my wish to have another partner who can entwine with the D/s dynamic I crave.
How will this play out longer-term?
Only time will tell.

A date with the (new) Dom

I am going to call him Andre, obviously not his real name, for reasons of my own, and I want to tell you about the night we spent together this week and what I learned about myself.

First of all, I am truly happy being submissive.

There was nothing in the past six months so sexually delicious as the time we've spent together so recently, and I am amazed to see how much my pleasure is enhanced not just by being pinched and slappped and treated roughly, but by that sense of ownership, of giving and being used.

Our night together was lovely and long and he's talented with his hands just in the way I like.
"Would you like to spank me?" I asked (begging in my brain).

"Oh, yes!" he said, and when I obediently bent over, slightly pushing up round bottom up off the bed, he said, "Oh, that looks so submissive, good," and then he didn't hold back in caressing my skin with his hands in between ever harder, more forceful splaps.

The sound of his hand on my skin was nothing next to the delicious stinging pain I felt as he rained open handed blows on my backside, hips and legs, and the warmth that spread through my body through the pain. Whe he took one one of his big hands and stuck his thumb right inside me, plugging me at the core as his other hand spanked my ass, it was so good I wanted to moan (and I did.)

As he worked me over, I felt amazingly excited, but I also had the thought going through my head This man understands me, he knows what I want.

"Turn over," he said, and then, with his big thumb still inside me, he began to bite and tease my breasts, sucking first one nipple, then the other, and then zeroing in on the sensitive nipples with his tongue and his teeth.

"What's your safeword?"

"Red," I said, and he nodded and then he bit me, grinding the nipple between his teeth until I saw little stars from the pain at the same time that my pussy tightened, grabbing him so tight he yelped.

We went on like that for a while, his mouth on my breasts and his hands in my cunt, and he pushed me to orgasm again and again, controlling my pleasure just the way I like it, pushed and played and exhausted right to the edge.

I think I came at least six times and I squirted at least three, pouring fluid out of myself again, and again, gushing so plentifully when I thought there would be no more that I almost couldn't believe it.

"Suck my cock," he said, and when I kneeled to the task, I had him moaning with pleasure in a way that made me feel great. "Enjoy my cock, explore it, worship it," he said and I opened my mouth and took the whole thing in, sucking and tasting before focusing on the fleshy tip, trying to give him the same degree of pleasure he gave me.

Truth is, though, I wasn't successful. As much as I stroked and rubbed and titty-fucked, and swallowed and so on, he couldn't quite come--we just didn't know each other well enough for him to let go in that way. Finally, he took his own hand and made himself come, and after I licked up the wet bits and shared them with him in a deep kiss (Yes, I am a deliberate and total slut).

He spent the night in my bed, the two of us naked and touching, spooned together with a comfort that's always a great sign of things to come. There was the moment in the night he held me and said "I will keep you safe," and the moment when I turned to him and said "I want you to dominate me, to possess me. I want to give myself to you."

And then there was the moment the next morning when we made love again before it was time to dress and go to work when he grabbed my pussy and held it tight and said those words Doms love:" Mine. Mine."

And I smiled when he said that and thought "He's interested. It is going to begin," and that feeling gave me so much joy.

Sugasm #61

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The new Dom

So I got together with the potential new Dom today. We were supposed to go out and explore hisn eighborhood, but instead I dragged him into bed with me--for hours. We had an amazing time--by agreement, there was no D/s, no penetration, but he spanked me and I had some very powerful orgasms--drove away with a BIG smile on my face.
Some random bits from the day:
--He reads D/s sex blogs..it was a trip to see his bookmarks for blogs by bloggers I read as well--some of whom had posted here! (I did not see this blog on his list...and I did tell him I had one...)
--He gives a mean spanking. God, it felt so good! His hands were heavy on my ass, and warmed it right up.
--We had good chemistry. More to come on this new development and where this connection goes.

Now, this is hot

Twisted Monk has a post about fetish photographer and goddess Michelle Serchuk, who's written up in ErosZine. This picture blows me away. Beautiful creature!

I think I met someone

So I wasn't looking, but I looked--one of those ads on Craigslist I read when I am lonely.
Only this time, I answered it.
And I talked on the phone to the man last night.
And I met him today for coffee, face to face.
And he may be someone who could fit into my life--much to my surprise (and of course it is too early to tell).
What I like about him:

• Dominant, but not sadistic
• Polyamorist, but not committed
• Without a significant other
• Seeking an LTR with a sensual sub
• Open to exploring
• Communicative and funny
• Seems honest
• Knows a (fairly large) number of people I know--shared frame of reference is always a good recommendation for friendship and connection

Where we go from here remains to be seen..I don't know him at all--but the potential for this to work, the sense we both want similar things, is really there--the thing to see is if we will want them with one another.

For Toy: How I became submissive

When I was 2o, my future husband and I were in a hotel room in an inn, sleeping in a room with a cast iron bed. "Blindfold me and tie me up," I said, gazing at the bars.
He did, we made love, and my screams of pleasure roared into the night (as we heard at breakfast the next morning).
The Story of O got me so aroused I was afraid to own it, least I read it obsessively, over and over.
When husband and I made love, I used to fantasize: men in hoods, strangers, holding me down as they used me for their pleasure. Being kept in a locked room, a slave, and brought out and given food only in exchange for sex. Fantasies so dark they terrified me and made me ask my therapist what could be the matter.
Husband and I went to a sex shop together at one point, and although we bought a butt plug and a flogger, he would never use them.
Then as my marriage was failing, I tried to be more of a slut--I invited anal sex, invited him to have sex more often, perfected my blow job skills and learned how to deep throat. But every time I suggested we role play, I was rejected. And my pleas for spanking, blindfolds and restraints were deemed....repulsive, brutalizing and unacceptable.
Even as we broke up, I had no clue that I might enjoy being submissive--after all, I'd only slept with one person for over 20 years--and we'd committed when we were both so inexperienced we had no idea what we might be missing.
To me, BDSM was some kind of fetishistic role-play in something called a dungeon where men with hoods and chains objectified and whipped women, used them as interchangeable objects. Nope, that didn't seem at all appealing.
And then, as my marriage was failing, I met Z on a dating site. He was a dominant, looking for a submissive, and he wanted someone he could love. He was bright, witty, literate and as we emailed about what he was looking for, I realized that, for me, this might be it.
All of a sudden, like the proverbial bolt of lightening, I got that my interest in being bound, controlled and restrained had a name and that it was an interest others--besides the guys in black hoods--shared.
It wasn't till a few months later that I had my first S&M experience with Z: blindfolded, hung on a door, whipped and flogged and beaten, probed and vibrated until the stimulation made me scream, until I was taken down so shaken my legs were trembling and he had to walk me to the bed, where he turned me over, tied my hands behind my back and jammed his hands into my soaking pussy.
And it was later, much later, that I started to fantasize about Z owning me, about the pleasure of giving him exactly what he wanted: a wet, submissive slut.
Between April and January 2006 was my awakening as a submissive; the passion peaked in January when Z had personal problems that made him less available and my connection to D began to grow.
Today, I am comfortable with and enjoy my submissive nature and hoping to find another man who can inspire the passion and intensity Z and I shared.

(I also like to joke that S&M is the mid-life sexual equivalent of a new-found liking for hot sauce; it awakens the taste buds as they die off.)


This post is for Toy, in thanks for her gifts and sharing

Making myself come

It's Christmas weekend and the boyfriend is gone, I have sworn off others and I am horny as hell--isn't that what vibrators are for? When no one else is available, the best thing to do is make glorious love to oneself, so here's the story of my little interlude of passion earlier today.
First of all, there's the vibrator--the big one with the nice soft tip, and then there's the lub--cool and slippery and pseudo-wet. Then there's me crawling naked under the sheets, deep into the nice clean bed, with the blinds pulled shut and the light diffused.
I lie back against the pillows and open my legs, letting my hands creep down to my crotch, to the smooth skin and soft curls and the moist tender flesh, lips to be parted and gently stroked with one finger moistened with spit from my mouth, tracing a trail along the lips. I arch my back and close my eyes, knowing what will soon come, how I can pleasure myself into an orgasm of the most intense sort, as gasping and headbanging as anything D can deliver (but not as much fun by myself).
Before I get started, I reach for the lube, wet myself up and get the vibrator buzzing before I slowly insert it, pushing the tip so it hits the g-spot just right. As the vibrator buzzes inside, I reach down and circle my clit with my fingertip, stroking softly till I feel aroused. Then, I start to fantasize, to dream:

• A man comes into my living room. He's my master, but I don't know him very well. "On your knees," he says to me, and as I kneel down he feeds me his cock, thrusting it into my open mouth until I choke, overwhelmed, and until he's made me drool and drip with spit.
• And then he's grabbing my breasts, sucking the nipples hard, handling the sensitive tips, pulling and twisting until I want to scream with pleasure, until I am gasping.
• And then there's the moment he reaches over between my legs, a thumb parting my legs, his hand reaching inside me, pulling me open, shoving fingers into that ready spot, wet and throbbing and wanting more.

And then I come, over and over again, hard against my hand, hard against the vibrating rod, hard against the soft padding of the bed, hard and hard and oh so good.
And then I'm done, and I put the vibrator aside, and turn my head and smile and sleep, knocked out and ready to dream.

Holidays for sluts

Pixie, over at tribe.net, posted something that spoke to me about sluts and these winter holidays:
"Am I the only one that goes through the "whose-family-are-we-spending-THIS-holiday-with" stuff? This year for Thanksgiving, we decided to spend it together at home and told all extended families, "We love you all - and we're staying home & not visiting anyone for Thanksgiving this year". Hannukah/Yule/Christmas got a little more disjointed, with visits to various houses. Even so, there were family members who felt left out, didn't get visited, only got to see one of us or whatnot. And then one of the kids at a family gathering this year asked why two of us had matching collars... "

I'm san lovers this week, home alone and horny as hell while D is off visiting his other partner's family--and some of his own family--neither of whom know about me. The temptation to call up some old date, like the nice older man I went out with--twice?--5 months ago--is powerful.

I would love to be spanked and restrained and flogged and plugged and fucked tonight, oh god, would I love that! But I don't want to have a one night stand, and I do not want to start something I am not interested in continuing--I want to meet a younger Dom, someone more compatible with me, and build a fire with that person. But hey, it feels like a waste, I am so horny this holiday, I keep giving myself these killer orgasms!

Water, one year together

It's evening, later, and D and are are in the hot tub in his backyard. The stars are out, glazing the night, and it's very quiet in the 'hood. D's in the water, waiting for me, so I drop the robe and hurry up the stairs, easing myself into the water and next to him.
It's been a year we've been together, a year ago we sat in his tub naked on the night we met, full of wine and sushi and curiousity, a year ago I decided this man was someone I'd like to see again.
And now we're naked in the darkness, back in the water, moving toward one another for yet another touch.
D pulls my body toward his, lightly touching my waist, his hand stroking my hips and thighs. We move toward one another, bouyant, afloat, my breasts brushing against his chest, my legs brushing him. Gently, I brace my hips against the tub, offer my breasts and pussy to him.
D brushes his cock against my lips and I run against him, the dark coming down on us like a cover, like a kiss.
We hold one another and kiss. "I love you," we say, but what is really meant is, "I still think you are so fucking hot."
D leanes back in the water, eyes closed, and thrusts his cock against my legs, We're rocking, weightless, and then he is inside me, my body opening, as always, for him.
"You want me to stick my cock inside you, don't you, you slut." D says, moving closer. "You always want me to fill you up, huh?"
"Yes," I say, and open myself further, moving so that D can have all the access he wants, can shove his cock deep into my body, can move against my g-spot and make me squirm, can use my pussy the way I always want him to, can dominate and own me through the force of his hunger, his need.
We are in the water, in the dark, and we are fucking. We're slamming into one another, my pussy closing like a glove around his dick, his cock shoving into me, wet and slick and hard and good, magical and reality at the same time. D's head is thrown back, his face transfixed, we pant together as I come and come, the orgasm blooming like a firework going off, a small moment of controlled frenzy in the hot tub we have all to ourselves.
"Huh, huh, huh, huh," we are breathing, panting, a moment of tantra together. One breath, one purpose, a hot sex dream.
"Oohhh, ohhh," D's face is agonized as he comes, so hard, so deep inside me, the orgasm lifting him out of himself and into a place I cannot go, a place safe from all the bad things happening right now in his life, safe from the losses to come.

I come hard as well, so hard I know I would be squirting if we were on a bed, so hard I lose myself for a moment, at once both stilled and in motion in the lapping breeze.

What does it mean, to know you are so together but to feel so apart?To be joined in this intense embrace, but to believe--at this time next year--we will be apart?

We're in the water, and we're together, but somehow, hot as it is, I feel we are distant, not truly joined.

Where I am right now

So I have one boyfriend, D--and the lovely, across the world Bear--but that's it in the man department for the moment. On one hand, it seems like I should be having lots more fun--and lots more exploring!--On the other, I haven't met anyone else that has really caught my attention.
Hmnn, maybe I need to start writing about masturbation.

Deeper Better Deeper

I've been sleeping with--and seeing D for about a year--and the sex just keeps getting better. We know each other now--know the curves of our bodies, the magic buttons to push--but somehow that familiarity has become exciting.
The way D presses against me, rubbing his body on mine till his cock is as hard as a rock. How his hands grip my hips, caressing the curves. Our lips as we kiss, over and over. My hand on his neck, tracing the muscle's swell. How we hold one another, hugging and touching, so close we have to fuck.
And then there's how D's weight pins me down as he climbs on top of me, how pressed into the mattress I feel, how pinned, as he grunts and pushes his way into my pussy, into my heart. "Look how wet you are, you little slut," he likes to say. "You're always so wet and juicy for me. You want my big hard cock inside you,don't you--don't you?" (Those words always accompanied by a mind-bending thrust that puts his cock right against my g-spot and makes me gasp.)
"Oh, yes," I say, head thrown back. "Yes."
I love his cock and the way it feels inside me.
His heavy weight towering over me.
The way he flips me over, fast and hold my hips just so so he can drive it in, deep, once again.
And how open to him I am as he thrusts, deep and deeper.
Ahh, there's so much pleasure between us.
So much joy and so much fun.
"You make me crazy," he says as we lie there, cuddled together.
"Spontaneous combustion," I think, but say nothing, savoring that moment in his arms.

Dominated in a different way

D isn't that tall, but he's brawny, powerful, with a thick chest, wide torseo, brawny shoulders, strong hands. Is it any wonder, then, that I love the feeling of him lying on top of me, shoving his cock against my legs. Like a battering ram, his cock shoves against my pussy lips, thrusting to get inside, to feel my lips smoothly part.
Our game is that I will never refuse him, that I will make love to him or just let him fuck me anytime, and he delights in rubbing up against me till his short, thick cock gets hard and till his stabbing, shoving motions push him right in to what is quickly a moist and welcoming cunt.
"You little slut, look how wet you are," he likes to say as he looms above me, thrusting hard. "You like it when I shove my cock in you, don't you," he stammers, as he flips me over, doggie-style and drives it right in.
I love the feeling of his body relentlessly pounding mine, his thick torso pinning me down, his heavy hands holding my hips just so as he drives his cock home. At those moments, I feel as dominated, as possessed as I sometimes did with Z, but the currency here is fucking and passion, not pain.
We have spontaneous combustion, we like to joke, and after D's final orgasm, when he's curled in a wet and sticky heap beside me, I like to daintily clean him off with my tongue, a sleek cat delicately lapping, a submissive looking for a(nother) service to provide.

Without a Dom--no idea what is next

So I have been seeing D for almost a year. And my relationship with Z went on for a year until he became unavailable, 10 months ago. And now Z is out of my life once more and I have no one with who to do D/s.
And boy, am I confused about what I want.
A new Dom?
No new Dom?
I dunno.
Everytime I make love to myself I think about a master pulling me by a collar, dragging me down, strapping me down on a bed, making me submit as dozens of strange men fuck and lick me with my eyes blindfolded and my head set so I can't see--and then I imagine him making me greet, serve and smile at the strangers he has me service--and then I wonder to what extent this is a great masturbation fantasy--and to what extent is it something I might ever want to do (and would I want a man who waned all this? And how much would I worry about ut?)
I dunno.

The best quote ever

"Don't stick your dick in crazy."
--Mistress Matisse, writing on poly people--but this is true for everyone.

Trading Love for Sex?

Sometimes I wonder if my relationship with my dominant lover Z is really about trading love for sex.
I love Z, but I am not in love with him, and I have increasingly come to face the truth--what I most love about Z is our D/s relationship and how much the bird in a gilded cage/caught princess thing turns me on.

On some level, I think Z knows all this and part of his tactic with me is to fuck me into submission, to make me so satiated and enthralled that I'm content to continue the relationship.
In other words, he uses sex--the way he touches me, the way he controlls me, the attention he pays to me--as a way to get--and keep--my love.

But is it a fair exchange? And is it an exchange I want to continue to make?
On Z's side, the tradeoff is to keep his lover sexually and emotionally enthralled so he can have what he wants--a real, submissive girlfriend.
On my side, it feels like I'm agreeing to be the girlfriend--to act that role--because I want the sex.

I enjoy being submissive. I also enjoy having multiple relationships. I don't see how I could have an intense relationship with a dominant who would let me decide who else to be involved with.
So I feel like I want to have a couple of mutually exclusive things--an intense D/s relationship some of the time, and the freedom to see D (and occasionally others) other times. That just feels like something I am NOT going to get.

So which part do I really want the most? A Master who can control me love me dominate me or a boyfriend or two where any D/s is just a little play?

I don't know. That is why it is easier to submit to Z, to fall back into his world, but when I am apart from, in my own life, it just doesn't feel right.

I know I am trading one thing for another, not totally acting from the heart, and that bothers me. And yet...Z is such a wonderful dominant....this is difficult.

One day, sex with two men

8 am: D's house, in bed. We had been sleeping, then, quickly and quietly, D rolls over against me and starts playing with my breasts. I feel his cock growing hard against my legs and I get turned on. His wife is asleep down the hall, so we want to be quiet (we're polite). Soon I am under the covers, sucking D's cock, taking him as far down as I can, then he's on top of me, driving it in, hard and thick. Soon, he flips me over, and I am taking it hard, my ass in the air as he slams his cock into my pussy, a pillow muffling the noise I want to make. When we finish, we come together, and it's good. Wet and good.

11:30 am: Z's house, on the bed. I've come over for some emotional support for something unrelated to sex, love or men and Z strokes my neck, looks into my eyes, and says "I think you need to squirt." How could I disagree? Soon I am naked on the bed and his magic hands are rubbing my clit, gently making their way inside my pussy. He kisses me and his tongue is a poem, his mouth a song we both are making.
No one can touch me like Z, I think, and just give myself over to what he makes me feel--to the feeling of his hand inside me, pushing hard and hard against my g-spot, till I feel like I want to scream, like I could somehow burst, a small explosion roaring inside me as the wetness builds and my pussy gets all wet, sloshy, wide and opening, opening against his hand like the core of a peach, the ripe wetness of the clinging fruit.
And then Z wants to fuck me, too. Just like D he doesn't want to wait any longer. My pussy is so wet, so ready, so ripe there is nothing to do but put it right in, plunge down into that velvet tightness and shove himself between my legs.
I lie back on the bed and Z thrusts inside me, my legs up in the air around his neck and shoulders, his cock another exciting poem.
And then there is the moment we both come,one after the other, a tripwire of passion and lust, and then there are Z's hands, making me come again, so drained I cannot move any longer, so satied I am done.
You are the best lover I have ever had, I tell Z, and I wonder if the fact this is true will make me his forever.

On the way home to the rest of my day, I think about what a slut I am for screwing two men in just a few hours and that thought itself is another gift to myself, a little secret that makes me (totally) smile.