Without a Dom--no idea what is next

So I have been seeing D for almost a year. And my relationship with Z went on for a year until he became unavailable, 10 months ago. And now Z is out of my life once more and I have no one with who to do D/s.
And boy, am I confused about what I want.
A new Dom?
No new Dom?
I dunno.
Everytime I make love to myself I think about a master pulling me by a collar, dragging me down, strapping me down on a bed, making me submit as dozens of strange men fuck and lick me with my eyes blindfolded and my head set so I can't see--and then I imagine him making me greet, serve and smile at the strangers he has me service--and then I wonder to what extent this is a great masturbation fantasy--and to what extent is it something I might ever want to do (and would I want a man who waned all this? And how much would I worry about ut?)
I dunno.